


Fear into Bravery

by Iris_Dietrich



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-05 22:59:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11587938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iris_Dietrich/pseuds/Iris_Dietrich
Summary: What if Frank Randall had always been more like his ancestor? Claire isn't trying to return to Frank, she had been trying to flee from him when she discovered the stones at craigh na dun and although scared to be in a different time she has no plans on returning to her own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Outlander fic, if this has been done before I apologize, hopefully me being new will insure a different take. Hope you all take a chance and enjoy!

Claire was a very respected nurse throughout the war. The doctors and other soldiers were always surprised how calm she was able to stay despite everyone else succumbing to fear and despair. The other female nurses had to look away during amputations, or run outside the tent to vomit at the sight of so much suffering and gore. And the soldiers, even the most hardened of them, could be heard crying out for their mothers most nights. Yet Claire never showed that any of the pressures of this war effected her in the slightest. It wasn't that she was some uncaring ice queen, she cared... she cared a great deal especially for her patients. However there was no denying life had hardened her.

Her parents had died when she was very young, she could barely remember them, and what she could remember she was never sure if it was imagined to make herself feel better or if it was an actual memory. She had never been like the other demure women of her time, maybe because she had such little time with her own mother and had mostly been raised by her uncle Lamb. He was an archeologist and her formative years were spent in far away lands having adventures. While other little girls were playing dress up or hosting imaginary tea parties she was rolling cigarettes and helping to dust bones.

She was only 19 when she lost Uncle Lamb and found herself completely alone in the world. Perhaps that's why she had been so easy to sweep up. She had never been the type of girl to dream of Prince Charming and she was ashamed that the first time a man pursued her she had jumped at the chance to be his wife. She supposed she had just wanted to belong to someone, to feel she had some place in the world and wasn't completely on her own. Frank offered her that, he promised to be her family, to take care of her, and fool that she was she had believed him. 

Frank's parents hadn't been very fond of her, so when he started suggesting she dress differently, speak differently, she assumed it had been only temporary to win them over. But it wasn't temporary, and what started as suggestions became intense scrutinizing pressure. Still she had made excuses and tried to reason away the doubts that kept creeping in, it wasn't until their first wedding anniversary that she finally had to admit, she had married a monster.


	2. Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: emotional/domestic abuse scene

Claire POV:

I stared at the clock and watched the hand turn to 12:01 it was official Frank had missed our first anniversary. I had spent all day cleaning the house spotless, I had made 3 dinners, the first two failed, he always hated my cooking... I thought if I could get one meal right, this meal, that maybe things would get better for us. I was wrong.

It was almost 3am when he came home, I was still sat at the table watching the clock unsure what to do with myself. He didn't like it if I ate without him but I could care less about the bloody food I just wanted to go to sleep, in my dreams at least I could be thousands of miles away off on some adventure with uncle Lamb free of this domestic prison. 

"What is that God awful smell!?" He shouted startling me, I had spent the entire day in almost complete silence, I guess I was starting to forget what another person's voice sounded like.

"It is your dinner, it was supposed to be our anniversary dinner, but now I doubt it's fit enough for the neighbor's dog." I replied my annoyance over his tardiness clear.

"Well let's be fair darling, it was your cooking I'm sure even fresh from the oven the hungriest dog wouldn't sniff at it." I started to tear up --damn it Beauchamp! I didn't used to be this sensitive, perhaps it was how tired I was, not just over today but over the past year of this tiresome marriage where nothing I did seemed to be good enough.

He started laughing at me, "are you actually crying?" he asked intensely amused at my pain.

I tried to wipe my tears away and stand up to leave the room but he was suddenly across the table in a flash pushing me roughly back into my seat.

"Oh no no no, if it so important to you, please let's eat!"

He kept me in that chair and bite by bite, forced every last scrap of food down my throat. My stomach was screaming in protest but my discomfort seemed only to please him. It was morning now and finally this horrid anniversary was over, or so I thought.

He finally released my shoulders of which I'm sure would be bruised black with his unyielding grip on me but as soon as I stood I had to rush to the bathroom losing most of what was fed to me down the toilet.

"Tsk, tsk, wasting food, how very rude of you."

"Please, Frank, please I did my best you weren't even bloody here for our anniversary!" I didn't need to look up to see the look on his face to know I had just made everything worse, I could feel it in the air, the storm that was heading for me.

He roughly grabbed me by the back of my head and threw me into the bath. He started filling the tub holding me under it.

"Want to know why your husband missed your precious dinner! A bloody German U-boat sunk one of our air craft carriers! Men died but I have to come home a deal with a pitiful crying wife and her atrocious attempts at a fucking pot roast."

I struggled for air as the water came over my nose, "Please Frank I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't, your just a woman, it isn't your job to know, your only bloody job is to keep a fine home and you can't even do that! Isn't it enough that I serve my country trying to save us each day from the Germans coming and destroying our lives, I have to come home to you! I'm not sure which is the greater burden."

He kept pushing me under the water, letting me up only for the briefest seconds to get a lung full of air and down I went again. I'm not sure how long this lasted but it felt like hours. Finally his arms seemed to tire and he stood up. Again I made the mistake of thanking God, thinking it was over. But he wasn't quite done, Frank unzipped his pants and proceeded to urinate on me. Finally he buttoned up and left me but not before locking me in the bathroom.

I sat there in the bath, shivering from shock, sick, dirtied knowing there was no more denying it... I had married a monster. And this monster worked for bloody MI6, I was screwed.


	3. Reprieve

The German's sinking the English carrier was only the beginning, it wasn't long before the War had come to England in earnest. After their anniversary Frank only got worse, it was like something inside him had been set lose. He was cleaver tho, he never left any marks on her, or behaved anything but the perfect gentlemen when they were with company. Claire was starting to feel as though the walls around her were closing in and this was doomed to be her life forever. It was a good few months after that fateful night in 1939 that hope returned to Claire, that perhaps her life would consist of more than being under Frank's thumb. They were playing the perfect couple and hosting farewell drinks for a top lieutenant bound for France the next day. It had come up how desperate the men were getting for medical care if they were lucky enough to make it off the battlefields at all they were stuck dying of infection from some rushed poorly done surgery. Claire informed her guest she had studied as a nurse and would be honored to do her part. The man was surprised and looked to Frank, Claire could see he was about to dismiss her suggestion but she quickly jumped in.

"I mean I am ever so proud of my husband for all he does to keep us all safe here at home but to have the skills to be able to help other's husbands who aren't at home... well it seems very wrong of me not to do all I can in helping those brave men make it back safe."

The Lieutenant studied her for a moment,

"Well yes, having the means to help in this war effort and not volunteering in favor of one's own comfort is certainly not the most honorable thing. If your husband would allow it we would be grateful to have you join us tomorrow. The train departs early but surely Frank would be able to get you the necessary papers."

He looked over to Frank now who surprisingly didn't miss a beat,

"I should miss her dreadfully but as you say keeping her here would be the selfish thing to do when so many of our brave boys need her elsewhere, I shall make a few phone calls if that is truly what you wish?" He asked turning to Claire.

Claire knew as soon as their guests left she would be paying dearly for this act of rebellion but it might have been years before another opportunity to get away from Frank presented itself, as long as she was still alive in the morning to get on that train she reasoned any price she had to pay tonight would be worth it.

While the next 6 years stole millions of lives and ruined countries Claire had learned to love the war, she was her own person worthy of respect not just Mrs. Frank Randall. It wasn't the total reprieve she was hoping for, every so often a well dressed officer, seemingly untouched by war would stare her down. Claire knew it was Frank proving his reach was far and wide and if she had any plans to use the war as cover to escape he would quickly have her recovered. Somedays she could swear she felt his very breath down her neck as she worked but it was still far more freedom then she ever thought she'd taste again.

When the Germans surrendered she actually broke down crying, everyone around her assumed they were happy tears and she like the rest was so relieved to finally be going home, but that was far from the truth. 

While she had spent the last 6 years learning to restore man's body and spirit Frank had been learning how to break them. He had honed his darkest skills and been applauded and honored for it. And he was only to happy to show her once she was home again.


	4. Inverness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never attempted writing the Scottish Brogue before, so bare with me and if you have any suggestions to help please leave comments so I can improve.

After the war there wasn't as much for Frank to do at MI6 and what he was still doing was now under much stricter supervision and scrutiny. He was growing restless and frustrated. They had suggested he take time off, but when MI6 suggests something it isn't really a suggestion. He decided to use this time to reconnect with his wife, the war had put some crazy ideas in her head and she was acting much too liberated for him. He told her they would be having a second honeymoon in Inverness, there he also hoped to spend some time with an old family friend, Reverend Wakefield, he had sought counsel from him before and had never been steered wrong. Yes he was feeling very good about his next steps post war, everything would find balance again it was just going to take some time.

Claire on the other hand didn't have such a positive outlook on the future. The small spark she had managed to reignite while serving during the war was dying out again. She feared this time if Frank managed to completely extinguish it she would never get it back again.

There had to be some way to get away from him, maybe while he was busy with the Reverend she could steel away into the Scottish wilderness and live amongst the wolves, surely they would be kinder and more civilized than Frank.

Claire POV:

We had arrived at Inverness two days ago. I had made up my mind I would be leaving Frank, likely I would fail and he would have me locked away in some insane asylum for disobedient wives but I knew if I didn't at least take the chance I would always wonder what if.

The Reverend and his adopted son were perfectly nice, I found it difficult to see what had connected the Wakefield's with my husband. But I suppose I know better than anyone how deceiving appearances can be. Still it was hard to imagine the Reverend truly knowing Frank's character and still calling him a friend, but Frank was good at that... appearing to different people in different ways to get exactly what he wanted. A quality I naively used to find charming and a mark of intelligence I now understood to be a sign of a deranged psychopath. 

I decided to excuse myself for some fresh air, Frank told me not to go far and I had to bite my tongue and reply, "of corse not dear, I'll be right outside."

I stepped outside, finding the chill in the air refreshing. I used to hate being alone, it left me feeling like a balloon that could at any moment be swept away and forgotten about seconds later. Now I treasured the times I could be just by myself, no facade, no pain, just silence.

"There certainly more than jus' a wee nip in th' air, aye?" I turned around to see I had been joined by Mrs. Graham, the Reverend's housekeeper.

"Oh, yes, I suppose there is." I said politely. She dug around in her pockets for something and then fished out a carton of cigarettes offering one to me. I shook my head no and declined, staring out into the thrush Scottish countryside again.

"Weel, it shall certainly make tonecht much mair uncomfortable." she remarked.

"What's tonight?" I asked, more out of politeness then genuine curiosity.

"Bit of ay Druid ritual."

"Druid?" I asked finding myself more interested now, I never would have taken Mrs. Graham as a pagan.

"Up at Craig na dun, some call it fairy hill, say those rocks can transport th' lonely hearted ben time. An' if nothin' else it is fin just tae dance around under th' moon naked as a wee bairn." She said dissolving into giggles.

If I hadn't been able to smell the tobacco I would have sworn those were a different kind of cigarette Mrs. Graham was partaking in.

That night as I prayed Frank would come to bed too tired to attempt anything I found myself thinking of this fairy hill Mrs. Graham had mentioned. I knew it was all make believe but it was nice to think about, being able to go through time, to a place your problems... specifically your problems in the shape of your bastard husband could not follow you was definitely appealing, and if the price for a ticket was simply dancing around naked I certainly wouldn't mind giving it a try.


	5. Craigh na dun

Claire woke up energized she actually found herself looking forward to the next day. She was eager to speak to Mrs. Graham again and find out how her naked Druid dance had gone.

"And what are you smiling over?" Claire was startled by Frank's gruff question, her hand lifted to her face and it confirmed she was indeed smiling, she hadn't even realized.

"Just lost in thought for a moment, I had a lovely talk with Mrs. Graham the other day."

Frank just grunted but seemed to think it harmless company for Claire to keep while he was busy with the Reverend. He had been considering returning to academia and was delving deep into his ancestral history with the Reverend's help.

It was barely 8am when Claire next saw Mrs. Graham. She was getting breakfast together. Claire made her excuses and left the men to their research claiming she was going to offer Mrs. Graham a hand in the kitchen. Frank of corse made a disparaging comment over her cooking but today she seemed not to mind.

"Mrs. Graham," Claire said announcing herself.

"Oh, ello dear, I troost ye slept weel?"

"Actually I did, I had lovely dreams of some druid dancers up on fairy hill." Claire replied only partially joking.

"Ah, weel it was braw night despite th' weather." Suddenly Mrs. Graham dropped what she was doing and grabbed Claire's hand roughly pulling her into the corner dropping her voice into a whisper,

"If ye plan on leaving' ye need tae be doin' it now."

"I'm sorry?" Claire asked confused.

"If ye meanin' to be gettin awn' from yer husband ye need tae be gonnae now. Th' stones willnae be open fur much longer." She said dead seriously to Claire.

Claire gulped, not fully understanding the change that had occurred in Mrs. Graham.

"Why would you assume I'm wanting to get away from my husband?"

"The eyes," Mrs. Graham replied, "Yer husband's have no love, no kindness, only cold calculation. An' yoors, yesterday ye were lookin' tae those trees out back like ye were hoping' they'd come tae life an' carry ye away."

Claire didn't know how it was possible that Mrs. Graham saw her more clearly in 3 days of knowing each other than others who had been in her life for years. Perhaps there was magic in her after all.

"It's nice you want to help, but I don't know what going to a bunch of stones on a hill is going to do for me."

"If ye go, an truly allow yer slef to be open, the Stones will carry ye how you wished those tree would." Mrs. Graham explained, Claire was about to dismiss her again when Mrs. Graham asked her...

"What de ye really hav' to loose?"

Claire didn't have a response to that... was she really thinking of going, of racing off to some stones in hope they would solve all her problems, give her a second chance? Shockingly she realized she was.

Mrs. Graham saw Claire look towards the back door,

"My car is parked 3 houses down, the keys are in the visor... GO!"

It wasn't anything to do with reason or belief that Claire decided to go, it was pure instinct, the cage door had been unlatched and she was sprinting out purely on instinct.

Mrs. Graham kept puttering about the kitchen, asking Claire questions as tho she was still there, in hope of buying the girl as much time as possible.

Claire ran faster than she ever had, cutting through people's yards she made it the three houses down and jumped in the first car she saw. When she opened the visor, keys and a map fell down onto her lap. She turned the ignition and pulled out onto the road slowly at first, not to grab anyone's attention, and after a few blocks passed she gunned it.

Racing through the Scottish countryside was exhilarating, "was this really it? was she really about to escape Frank's clutches?" She was terrified to get her hopes up but not so scared she was going to let the chance pass her by.

She saw the stones in the distance and pulled the car over under the shade of some trees. Racing up the hill, logic seemed to return to her, how did she really expect this to work? Why had she thought to listen to a old nude dancing druid? 

At the stones she saw a pack, as she unrolled it an old costume and a note came tumbling out.

She held the note out and quickly scanned it: 

******* Put on the dress and open yer heart, the Stones shall do the rest.

She looked around to see if there was anyone about, she started to believe this was some elaborate prank and soon Frank would jump out of the trees and laugh at her foolish attempt to leave him.

"Your a bloody fool Beauchamp," Claire muttered to herself as she changed clothes, "Listening to that old women, what are you thinking?!" Still she kept dressing herself, once she was done she realized she had no idea what to do next, she bent down to grab the note again and saw through the paper there was something on the other side. Turning it over she saw a little sketch, a woman with her hands on the largest stone.

Claire sucked in a deep breath and approach the stones, "This is ridiculous" she thought to herself and then she remembered Mrs. Grahams words "open yer heart... what do ye have to loose?"

Claire closed her eyes and for the first time truly allowed herself to believe, upon opening her eyes again she heard a humming, or was it a buzzing... it was coming from the larger stone in the center. She started to approach it and as she got closer, it almost sounded like a cacophony of voices crying out, she raised her hands to the stones and suddenly everything went black.


	6. Free From One Randall, Found by another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know not much is different for their first meeting so sorry if it seems redundant, it will start to veer more as we go along.

Claire opens her eyes. She’s still lying by the stones. She looks around... nothing seems that different, but there is a feeling, something in the air that tells her she is not where she once was.

She sits up and immediately notices that the stones have ceased screaming. But now there is another noise, unfortunately a familiar one, it's the noise of battle that travels through the air. Unsure what's happening Claire gets to her feet in a bit of a daze. Only knowing she must get away from the approaching battle Claire manages to scramble away.

As her feet get more sure of themselves she starts moving quicker but she is unused to her long dress and manages to slip and fall, she ends up sliding and tumbling down a hill knocking herself out again.

When she finally comes to she sits there for a moment at the base of a tree, trying to gather her wits. A commotion from above causes her to hug the hill trying her best to not be discovered but the pop of gun shots forces her to look up. She see three men wearing kilts, running from six redcoats armed with MUSKETS! 

Claire's breathing starts coming quicker... the stones, did they work? Did they really bring her through time? Cautiously she gets to her feet and rubs her head and neck, checking for some kind of injury.

Suddenly there’s the sound of muskets firing again only now they seem to be much too close and a split second later a random ball SMACKS the tree trunk right next to her. She gapes at the tree for a second before darting in the opposite direction and running as all hell.

As she runs through the woods, the branches and underbrush lashing at her, tearing bits of her costume. She nearly falls, steadies herself against a tree and then is GRABBED FROM BEHIND. Taken... unaware, she’s helpless for a moment, but when her eyes focus on her abductor’s face, her expression turns to outrage.

Frank!

"Oh this is just bloody perfect, how the devil did you follow me?!"

She demands to know but she sees the look of confusion cross the man's face and realizes this man is not her husband tho the resemblance is eerie.

"You’re not Frank..." She mutters still not believing her eyes.

"No, I am not," The man replies, Claire starts noticing subtle differences between the redcoat and her husband, for instance he's slightly more wrinkled, more worn... and he has long hair that is tied back, also his skin is deeply tanned, not fair and unmarred as Frank's is. 

Claire backs up a couple of steps as the redcoat eyes her with interest, his gaze is threatening in a way very similar to Frank's when she's said something that has displeased him. She backs up further and bumps into a tree forcing her to stop putting distance between them. 

"Who the bloody hell are you...?" Claire asks with a slight tremble in her voice despite trying to sound strong and unafraid.

"I am, madam, Jonathan Randall, Esquire, Captain of His Majesty’s Eighth Dragoons." He adds a dramatic bow, "At your service."

"Tell me, who is this Frank you seemed so displeased to see?" He asks.

"My hus- husband." Claire forces out.

"Must be a very dashing gentlemen for you to confuse us, does this Frank have a last name?"

Claire panics not knowing what to say and instead turns and RUNS headlong through the woods. She’s slashed and whipped by branches and leaves, but pays them no mind in her sudden, panicked reaction. Unfortunately she doesn’t get very far before she’s KNOCKED DOWN from behind by redcoat Randall. 

He has her pinned to the ground as she struggles to get him off her. 

"Let me go!" She shouts at him, but he only finds her struggle amusing,

"Oh, it’s like that, is it?" He taunts, forcing her around he kisses her hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth, but as he does Claire bits down hard drawing blood and nearly taking his tongue off. He rears back shocked before striking her hard across her face.

"You will pay for that" he warns spitting blood into her face before he lays his body over hers and starts pulling up her skirts. Claire SCREAMS into his ear and brings up a KNEE into his crotch. He falls off her in pain and she scrambles up, but she doesn't get far before coming face to face with a ROCK WALL and before Claire can find a way out, Randall has rolled to his feet and blocks her path to safety.

"You know, if you liked it rough, all you had to do was say. I promise I will be able to match you BITE for bite, scratch for scratch... THRUST for thrust." He says causing her to feel sicker the closer he gets to her.

She tilts her chin up, refusing to let another bloody Randall intimidate her,

"You don't scare me." She says.

He smiles, "Oh I think I do."

She tries to bolt past him, but he’s faster and THROWS her back with a force that nearly takes her off her feet.

"You intrigue me, madam. Whores are usually so dull and obvious. I look forward to plumbing your depths."

Suddenly he’s on her and Claire is completely overpowered. Strong, powerful fingers dig into her throat and shove her against the rock, his knees forcing her legs apart and his free hand reaching below her skirt. Just when she fears she'll be the victim of yet another Randall a man comes CRASHING down on her assailant from above. 

With a well placed blow to the head from a powerful fist, Randall is now lying on the ground, unconscious. The man, late 30's- early 40s wears a ragged shirt and filthy kilt, with pock-marked skin and a swarthy complexion.

"This way." He tells her grabbing Claire by the arm and jerking her into the woods. 

"Who the hell are you? Where are we" Claire asks her mysterious and grumpy rescuer but she is given no response.

"I said, WHERE ARE WE--" Before she can demand answers he suddenly whirls around placing a hand over her mouth and throws her body to the ground, pinning her there with his weight. She struggles, wide-eyed and expecting the worst. 

In the distance, we suddenly hear English accents calling for help with the Captain. Claire struggles wildly, hoping to cry out for help. She bites down on Murtagh’s hand, but instead of releasing her, he smashes a ROCK into her head knocking her unconscious. 

Claire is carried on horseback and brought to an old cottage. She regains enough consciousness to feel him untie her hands, then he guides her through the door of the cottage.

Claire’s eyes take a moment to adjust to the blaze of light inside still coming into consciousness from the blow to her head.

The cottage is alight from candles, oil lamps, and a fire in the hearth.

**Claire POV:

There is a rag-tag group of Highlander men and boys drinking, tending various wounds, and talking. One seems to stand apart as their leader, he is mid to late 40s, bald with a grey/white beard. 

He looks up at me and my rescuer turned attacker,

"What is it you have there, Murtagh?" He asks... I suppose the brute's name is Murtagh.

"A sassenach wench, by her speech." He so politely responds.

He grips me around my arm and tugs me forward where the older man can take a look at me. 

I decided that clutching at the remnants of my torn dress like a frightened child would only invite more predatory interest so I manage to pull away from Murtagh’s grip and stand tall before my inspector with a steady expression on my face.

"A bonny one, sassenach or no." He remarks taking in my disheveled appearance,

"What’s your name, lass?" He asks finally looking at my face and not my torn and muddied dress.

"Claire... Claire Beauchamp" 

"Beauchamp? A French name, it is, surely?" He says trying to correct my pronunciation of my own bloody name.

"That’s right." I say but he seems to pay my words no mind as he circles me like a shark, 

"Where did ye find her?" He asks Murtagh who is still stood behind me as if they expect me to make break for it. In the dead of night with no idea where I am... it wasn't likely.

"At the foot o’ Craigh na Dun havin’ words with a certain Captain of dragoons wi’ whom we are acquent’."

The men in the room all seem to bristle at the mention of Captain Randall, guess I wasn't the only one he had shown his less than appealing personality to. 

"There seemed to be some question as to whether the lady was or was not a whore."

I dug my fingers into my fists but I so badly wanted to spin a around and slap that Murtagh for even suggesting such a thing.

"And what was the “lady’s” position in this discussion?" The leader asks with enough condescension I wouldn't mind smacking him about as well. 

"I. Am. Not." I stressed each word, letting my anger start to show through.

Something I said must have amused the group. They all seemed to be very interested in my whore status and started leering at me as if I was no more than an object.

A large, fat man in his early to mid 30s approached me 

"We could put it to the test." He suggested, I wanted to vomit on his dirty face but I refused to show any weakness. 

"That will do, Rupert. I don’t hold wi’ rape and we’ve not the time for it, anyway." The leader remarked as if taking the time to violate me would be inconvenient for THEM, yes I definitely wouldn't mind slapping him.

"Dougal, I’ve no idea what she might be, or who -- but I’ll stake my best shirt she’s no a whore." Murtagh responded to whom I now knew was Dougal,

"Then why did you bloody bring it up?" I couldn't help myself quipping back.

Dougal looks shocked I had to nerve to speak without his permission and looks me over once more, surely re-calculating whether him and his men have time to rape me now... me and my bloody mouth.

Instead he just narrows his eyes at me, "We’ll puzzle it out later. We’ve got a good distance to go tonight and we mun’ do something for Jamie first; he canna ride like that."

He walks over to a man sat by the fire, he seems to be a young man, no more than 25, with a shock of red hair. He is sitting on a stool, rocking back and forth in pain as he clutches one shoulder with the opposite hand.

Suddenly the healer in me wakes up and I can't help the urge to go over and fix whatever is causing him pain but I don't dare move just yet... who knows they may not need my help, I wouldn't want to offend them, not that they seem to mind whether or not they offend me.

Dougal comes over and gently pulls away the protective hand on the young man's shoulder, while Murtagh quickly cuts away the dirty, blood-soaked linen shirt with a knife. I hear several men gasp at the sight of his injury, a bloody wound still flowing freely down his chest, but the real horror is the shoulder joint itself and the way his arm hangs at an unnatural angle.

"Out o’ joint, poor bugger." Douglas remarks, 

"Fell wi’ my hand out when the musket ball knocked me off my saddle. I landed with all my weight on the hand, and crunch! There it went." I hear the man speak for the first time, there is something different in his voice, it almost seems gentler than his compatriots. 

One of whom, Rupert I believe, has moved closer to peer at the wound.

"The wound’s no trouble. The ball went right through, and it’s clean - - the blood’s runnin’ free enough. I don’t know quite what to do about the disjointure, though. You canna ride with it that way, can you, Jamie lad?" He asks, Jamie... the name seems to suit him.

"Hurts bad enough sitting still, I couldna manage a horse." He squeaks out letting the pain show in his voice. One of my feet seems to move on its own wanting to bring me over to him but I don't move more than a step before I regain control.

"Dinna worrit yourself. I don’t mean to be leaving him behind." Dougal told him.

Rupert looked about to the other men, "No help for it, then. We’ll have to try and force the joint back. Here, lad." he says as he uncorks a leather flask and Jamie wastes no time in taking a drink.

Rupert instructs Murtagh and someone named Charlie to hold him down. 

Rupert grabs hold of Jamie’s wrist as the other two get a firm grip on the young man. Jamie braces himself as Rupert gets ready to yank on the arm with all his might -- I couldn't do it, I couldn't stay silent any more I knew what would happen if I let them continue and despite being knocked about my Murtagh and disrespected by Dougal and the other men, this Jamie had done nothing for me to let him suffer for.

"DON’T YOU DARE!" I found myself shouting out, I shocked not only myself but also the men around by the force in my voice, oh well I'm in it now...

"You’ll break his arm if you do it like that." I explain, still none of them moved or made a sound as if they all thought they were hallucinating me, I rolled my eyes and moved forward, "Out of the way, please."

Surprisingly, they do as they’re told and step back leaving room for me to examine the shoulder professionally for a moment.

"You have to get the bone of the upper arm at the proper angle before it will slip back into its joint." I try to explain to them but they all look at me like I'm speaking in tongues.

I take Jamie’s wrist and pull it up, while turning the elbow in.

I look Jamie in the eyes for the first time and am momentarily frozen by how beautiful they are, but as I see him wince in pain I come back into myself,

"This is the worst part." I warn him.

Jamie holds my stare showing me he's not afraid, "It canna hurt much worse than it does. Get on wi’ it." He says giving me a nod to let me know he trust me.

I cup his elbow, then use all my strength to force the limb up, feeling for the moment it will pop back into the socket. Jamie grimaces and I can feel the sweet gathering on my forehead, finally, there’s a soft CRUNCHING POP and the arm is back in the socket. The relief on Jamie’s face is immediate and obvious.

"It doesna hurt anymore!" He looks up at me like I've preformed magic, I just give him a nod and let him know soon it will, "It will be tender for several days. You musn’t extend the joint at all for two or three days; when you do use it again, go very slowly at first. Stop at once if it begins to hurt, and use warm compresses on it daily."

Suddenly another man bursts into the cottage, "Dougal?" He calls for the leader to come closer. But my attention is pulled back to Jamie when he starts talking again,

"I’m taking a guess you’ve dun this before." He asks.

"Yes, I trained for many years and served for even more when war started."

"Ye dinna seem ole' enough to have that many years at anythin'" He remarks studying me. 

I thought back to how someone would give their age in "olden times,"

"I am 6 and twenty." I told surprising him a little.

"Hm, thought you were around my age." He confesses.

"And how old is that?" I ask, now looking to his gun shot wound.

"3 and twenty." He tells me.

"Well 3 years is not so far off."

"No, 'spose it int."

There was a moment of awkward silence between us were I felt about 16 again but I just put my focus back on the medicine.

"The wound needs to be disinfected before it can be dressed." I told him, Murtagh came over questioning what I meant.

I tried to search for the right words, 

"The dirt must be removed from the wound and it must be treated with a compound to discourage germs and promote healing." I explain but they just looked at me more confused, come on Beauchamp think... what will Scotts understand...

"Alcohol?"

Murtagh seemed to be pleased to hear a word he recognizes, and quickly pushed a flask into my hands. 

"This’ll hurt." I warn Jamie,

"it all hurts." He tells me. I nod and pour alcohol over the open wound, then look about for something to dress it with.

"Do you have a bandage or piece of clean cloth." I ask.

The men look at each other blankly.

I'm looking about the room for anything remotely clean looking, I am getting frustrated I decided just to lift up my skirts and rip some cloth off from the inner layers.

The men look at one another in a mixture of shame and confusion but I don't have the energy to deal with their bloody backwards sensibilities were mentioning rape in front of a woman is fine but her tearing of a piece of cloth from under her dress is going too far.

In quick order I make do with what I have and dress Jamie's wounds. Just as I finish Dougal reemerges and pushes his way back through his men, 

"Can you ride, lad?" he asks Jamie who tells him, "Aye."

"Good. We’re leaving."

Great... now what? I suppose it would be expecting too much to be takin to a warm bath.


	7. Jamie Meeting Claire

**Jamie POV:**

The first time I met the sassenach, I hadn't really bin payin' attention. I was too distracted by th' blinding' pain tae even realize she had bin brought in th' room. It wasn't until I heard a strange English accent shout out, "don't you dare," that I even knew there was a lass aroond.

She was a sassenach alright, not just from her speech but everythin' about her seemed to be foreign, from how she held herself, to the way she walked... how she knew what ta do ta fix me up. Even her eyes seemed to belong to another land, I swear I had never seen another pair like em, the clearest most crystal like brown I had ever seen, almost like the color of whiskey.

She intrigued me, seemed to have me under her spell almost immediately, strange thing was... I was happy to be there.

We had to ride out again on Dougal's orders despite the sassenach's protests. It was decided she would be riding with me, I'm not sure why... I was still weak from injury but it seemed the other men hadn't wanted the responsibility or the distraction... perhaps they thought to put the two weakest links together, easier to cut us loose if we ran into trouble instead of abandoning two horses maybe.

Either way I had the form of a beautiful woman, sassenach or no, pressed against my front, it was almost enough to distract me of the pain in my shoulder... a price I'm not sure I minded paying to keep her round 'arse between my thighs-- Damn it, it was thoughts like that which had me feelin' shamed. I had never been the kind to reduce women to their parts before, it was not how I was raised, what was it about this lass that suddenly had me so hot blooded?

I was distracted from my wayward thoughts when I felt her body shaking against mine, I reckoned the lass must of been freezing... she was without a cloak and the dress she had on was not of very thick material, in fact I had never felt such thin material before, it seemed strange anyone would waste a whole garment on the thing, I had seen shifts of heavier weight.

Not liking the idea the lass might be sufferin' I tried to free my plaid enough to wrap it around the both of us, but my shoulder wasn't makin' it easy.

"Careful! Don’t twist like that, or your dressing will come off! What are you trying to do?" The lass so "politely" asks me.

"Getting my plaid loose ta cover ya, you’re shivering." I tell her and it seems to calm her down some,

"Oh... well, thank you, but I’m fine, really." She tries to tell me.

"You’re shaking so hard it’s making mah teeth rattle." I tell her back.

"I wasn’t expecting a nighttime ride when I dressed today." The lass sasses.

"The plaid will keep us both warm but I canna do it one-handed. Can ye reach the clasp of mah brooch?" I say askin' for her assistance.

She awkwardly reaches around and is able to loosen the wide plaid to cover us both. I feel like I have her cocooned in my plaid wings protecting her from the elements.

She seems to accept my protection as I feel her relax for the first time tonight, she even slightly snuggles against me getting more comfortable... that action had me more warm than the thickest wool would have been able to.

"So tell me Sassenach, how's it ye come to join our group of merry men tonight?"

"Were you not present for the whole whore debacle?"

A who'er surely not, I cinna imagine a beautiful intelligent lass as her bein a who'er.

"I was too distracted by min pain to truly be payin attention."

She was silent for a moment but seemed to decide she could trust me enough to tell me as much as everyone else had learned of her so far.

"A captain Randall was attacking me when your friend Murtaugh rescued me only to then knock a rock against my head and drag me back here... I suppose it's lucky for you he did."

 _Randall_ , would I never be free of that disgusting excuse for a man? It drove me crazy thinking of what he might have done ta her and surprisingly I found myself pretty angry at my godfather as well, what was he thinking hitting her over the head after all she had already been through?

Still I wondered what an English lass was doing out here for Randall to attack her in the first place...

"An what brought ye up this far north before ye dust up with Randall?"

I saw the back of her head dip down, I looked around to see what had suddenly got her attention and I was able to make out the shine of a ring on her wedding finger... the lass was married. Why did that news feel like I had been run through by a dull sword?

"My husband... I had to get away, he is... he was a cruel, barbaric- bastard. I thought no one would ever think to look for me here."

"Ye came here to run from danger? Did ye not think of the danger that'd be waitin for ye here?"

The idea her husband had harmed her enough for her to run to Scotland had me feelin' sick but surely the lass must know it was no sanctuary she'd be finding here.

As if the dark haired beauty had been able ta read mah mind she started to explain more,

"It didn't matter the danger, that I might die..." She whispered, "as long as it wasn't by Frank's hands, I'd consider it a victory."

She spoke so strongly then, and with a grace I'd never seen a woman possess, she was like a queen. I wondered how any man would want to dim the light in her and not just sit in awe of it and feel lucky just to be near it. Suddenly I had a thought back to something she had said,

"Ye said he was cruel... did ya kill yer husband b'fore escaping?"

"What? No! I could barely make eye contact without feeling I might loose my bladder with the man, I would never have been brave enough to fight him, I can't believe I had enough fight in me just to get away let alone stay and stand my ground in a severely outmatched showdown."

"I'm sorry lass I dinna mean to insult ya, I was just curious how he came to be in the past tense."

"I didn't kill him." She reiterated strongly.

"I believe ya. But ya know him to be deceased?"

"Yes... it's complicated, I got word and it shocked me... distracted me, I behaved carelessly, I felt free for a moment and didn't pay attention to my surroundings which is when I found myself unfortunately crossing paths with Captain Randall."

She sighed and I could tell the conversation was over for her. I still didn't understand how word of her husband's passing would have made it to her but I did trust the lass when she said she didn't kill him. I decided it was best for me to let it go for now.

Some time later, she spoke to me again, and despite my aches and pains I felt lighter than air with happiness.

"Where are we going?" She asks me sleepily,

"Tell ye the truth, lassie, I donna know. Reckon we’ll both find out when we get there, eh?"

Soon after I feel her body go slack and the lass has found sleep against my chest, her head resting on my good shoulder. I canna tell ye what possessed me ta do it but I turned my nose into her hair and inhaled her sweet comforting scent.

... Ohh brither was I in trouble.

****Claire POV:**

I pretended to sleep following my brief interrogation, I was just thankful that I had not been facing him, I had been told I had a glass face and could not lie well at all. Though it wasn't really all lies, I did come here to escape my husband and it was true he was no longer alive, not yet, not here. But saying word got to me of his demise, that part had been a fib... but I needed some story to tell and it needed to be as close to the truth as possible if I was going to have any hope of selling it.


	8. On the Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am skipping the ambush scene or rather removing it from my storyline.

As the men and Claire rode on through the night, Jamie's injuries had started bothering him again, his shoulder was sore on its own from having his bones twisted back into place and shoved into the socket but the shot through had opened up and the blood loss was weakening him greatly. Still he didn't want to say anything, to make them all stop again, he couldn't imagine Dougal would be all that happy with the idea of another break when the redcoats were still so close so he tried to put it out of his mind, but ignoring a problem rarely fixes it.

**Claire POV:

I had never been so sore in my life, riding on horse for nearly a full day was brutal on my legs and hips but I didn't dare complain. At least I wasn't with Frank or his bizarre ancestor. And lucky for me there had been no more mention of rape or questions about my now "deceased" husband so glass half full and all.

I could feel something tugging on the plaid Jamie had shared with me, I looked back and could see his body was beginning to slump over, I tried to grab him before we both fell over but there wasn't much I could do to fight gravity and the weight of a large bloody Scottsman pulling me down.

"Stop! HELP! He’s going over!" I shouted out at the last second as we fell to the ground.

Murtagh and Rupert jumped down and got to us just in time to catch us and break our fall a bit. Quickly I start to check his vitals. Dougal and the other men gather around and I'm surprised to see concern on their faces, perhaps they are not the complete barbarians I took them for.

Finally I am able to feel what I'd been looking for, thank god, "He has a pulse..." I put my ear to his chest next and breathe out in relief, "He’s breathing... I think he’s just fainted. Put a saddlebag under his feet and if there’s water, bring me some." I don't have time to ponder why Jamie's well being was suddenly so important to me, but it was.

"The gunshot wound has been bleeding again, he’s lost a lot of blood." I say starting to worry again, Murtagh and another man who's name I hadn't learned yet came and propped a saddlebag under his feet like I'd asked and supplied me some water.

I reach under my skirts again and tear what little material is left under there in the linings for a new dressing. Jamie begins to stir, and even opens his eyes, I'm glad to have him back with us but he doesn't look well, his features have become very pale and drawn.

"I’m all right... just a wee bit dizzy..." He said trying to dispel all of our worries.

I shook my head suddenly very angry with him, "You are not all right! Couldn’t you tell how badly you were bleeding?" Why was I so cross with him, it's not like he was bleeding on purpose? I shook my head again not having time to find reason but needing to get on with things.

I put the new bandages in place, but they keep slipping and not staying in places most likely do to the poor quality of the fabric...

"No -- c’mon now YOU GODDAMNED BLOODY BASTARD!" I yell out in frustration causing the men around to practically grab their pearls in shock at my foul language.

"Ne’er heard a woman use such language in all my life." I hear Dougal remark. Somehow I find that doubtful, surely any woman who was forced to spend time with him would resort to such language rather quickly.

Rupert now for some reason feels the need to chime in, "Your husband should tan ye, woman. St. Paul says, ‘let a woman be silent, and-" and I don't let the bloody Scott get another word out before I tell him and St. Paul can both mind their own bloody business.

I ask Murtagh to help me turn him on his left, taking time to warn Jamie he best cooperate, "And if you move so much as one single muscle while I’m tying this bandage, I’ll throttle you."

**Jamie POV:

Why did getting threats from the lass amuse me so? Aye not sure but I wanted to annoy her more just so she'd keep doin it.

"Oh, threats is it? And after I shared meh plaid with ye."

Dougal leans down and offers me his flask. But Claire is quick to refuse for me, "No. No more spirits. He needs tea, or at worst, water. Not alcohol." Dougal ignores her and shoves the whiskey to me. And I gladly start pouring what's left down my throat. "Tend to your business, woman. We’ve a good way to go yet tonight and he’ll need whatever strength the drink can give him," Dougal tells her. I can see clearly how hard she is tryin' to control that wicked tongue of hers, I like how feisty she is, but she'd be wise ta keep it under wraps especially around the likes of Dougal, he might like the idea of a strong woman but he dinna like anyone of any gender to challenge him, and he codna have quite the temper when he felt challenged. Probably from havin' ta suppress so much of it and his pride in order ta protect and serve his brither, Colum. It seemed the rest of us had ta pay for the control he exercised towards his brither.

She finishes patching me up and Dougal wants us to go, Claire demands I need more time to rest and aye can see Dougal is losing his patience with her, I manage to grab her arm and hold her back before she can make another comment,

She looks to me to explain myself, and I try to communicate with my eyes how seriously she need ta ben takin' this, "Randall won’t give up so easily." I tell her, and I can quickly see how the name effects her... I clench my jaw thinking how close he came ta hurtin' her like he did Jenny. I need ta remember to ask Murtagh about how he found her later.

I regain meh composure and continue explaining things to the lass, "He’ll have patrols out in every direction by now. We canna stay here." I tell her starin' into those dizzyingly beautiful eyes of hers.

"You know Randall... Jack Randall, that is?" She asks, and for the first time I see fear in her eyes, I'd seen annoyance, frustration, discomfort, insecurity, but genuine fear... I hadn't seen it on her glass face, I found I hated it there and wanted anythin' to remove it.

"Aye." I tell her, wallowing the lump in my throat, "I won’ risk you or anyone else being taken prisoner by that man. If ye canna fix me up well enough to ride, then you’ll all be leaving me here with a loaded pistol so I may determine my own fate." and so I dinna be slowin' yer down I think, I wouldn't let him get another chance with her... not while I still had breath in me.

She looks over me again, and there is a tenderness to the look that stirs something in me. She seems to catch herself and quickly a hardness comes back over her, "Thats all I can do right now, the rest will have to be up to you."

I place my hand over hers and keep my gaze soft, "Thank ye, Sassenach. Truly."

I seem to catch her in another moment, and I find myself getting lost in it too, there is something about her, about her beauty and strength and stubbornness that lets me believe I'd never get tired of starin into those whiskey eyes of hers.


	9. Gone Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Frank check in.

Frank decided to take a break for his research and walked into the kitchen, he expected to see Claire standing around uselessly while Mrs. Graham did all the real work but only found one lady standing in the kitchen and it was not his wife.

He looked around the door and on the other side of the fridge thinking there was some corner of the room she had just blended into, but she was not here.

"Where is my wife? I just heard you speaking to her?" He demanded to know.

"Oh," Mrs. Graham turned around pretending he had caught her off guard, she looked around as if she was also searching for Claire, 

"Dear me, I don't know I thought she was just behind me... how silly of me."

He tried to stare her down hoping to see her crack under his gaze but the dumb dolt of a face never wavered, she was clueless.

He stalked outside thinking maybe she had slipped out for a cigarette, she should have told him of her whereabouts she knew better then to just walk outside without his permission by now but he supposed it was an understandable slip up if she had really been in need of a smoke.

Outside she wasn't immediately by the stoop which is the furthest he could imagine her going without telling him, he stepped further out into the yard and looked around for her but saw no sign.

Perhaps she had to use the restroom and was still inside?

He checked all bathrooms inside the house but could not find her, his temper was starting to rise as he made his excuses and raced over to the inn they had been staying needing to see if her suitcase was gone. He swore if she had been dumb enough to leave him, to disrespect him in such a way, she would pay dearly for it every day for the rest of her miserable life, he would see to it.

Barging into the room hoping to catch her in the deceitful and sinful act of running from her husband he disappointedly found the room to be exactly like the two had left it earlier. All of her things were still here, even a photo of herself and her uncle and a bracelet that had once belonged to her mother... she wouldn't have left that behind, where was she?


	10. Castle Leoch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Yorkshire, is never mentioned but to me it was slightly more believable she made it to Scotland from there than from London or Oxfordshire

**Claire POV:**

It seemed our journey was coming to an end, despite being completely out of my element, out of my bloody time even, I was happy. At least my sore muscles would soon be happy. I didn't know how I would be able to do any of this, the language, the customs, the hygiene, but suddenly the world seemed full of endless possibilities. Logically I knew I was still in tremendous amounts of danger, I was a "sassernach," as Jamie called me and would not be trusted easily here, and I certainly couldn't trust the British not to hand me over to Randall either so I was determined to make the most of things here. I mean I wasn't completely useless, with my background in medicine and herbs I'm sure I'd be able to help many, truthfully I looked forward to being able to make a difference again.

"Dougal, you're back early, man."

Residents came and welcomed back the men,

A short jolly woman came bursting forward, she behaved like she was mamma hen to these dirty roosters and proud to be it.

"Rupert, m'dear! How good to see ye! Oh, my dear." Rupert gave her a big kiss seeming just as pleased to see her as she was him.

"Ye'll all be needing breakfast, I reckon, plenty in the kitchen. Away in, and feed yerselves." She instructed the men.

She noticed me next as Jamie helped me off our horse, he told me she was Mistress Fitzgibbons, she was Murtaugh's _(his godfather)_ aunt through marriage, something told me I'd have to start keeping notes to keep everyone's relations straight in my mind.

"And what do we have here?" She asks looking me up and down,

"Claire Beauchamp, Mistress Fitzgibbons." I say, introducing myself.

"Murtagh found her, and Dougal said we must bring her along with us, so..." Jamie explains, causing me to feel a little self conscience, he described me like a stray they picked up in the middle of the road, _was that really all he thought of me?_

"Well Claire, come with me, we shall find you something to eat and something fresh to be changin' inta." 

I paused, instead of following her, even if I wasn't feeling particularly warm towards Jamie after that introduction he still needed my care,

"Well, what about him?" I asked looking back to Jamie,

"I can fend for myself." He said trying to dismiss my concern.

"No, you're hurt." I tell him, "He was shot a day before yesterday and has been bleeding since, I need to properly see to the wound or it will become infected."

She gave be a confused look and I amended my words,

"I mean, inflamed...umm you know, with with fever and swelling."

"Oh, aye." She said still looking at him as though I had sprouted another head, "I ken fine what ye mean...  
But do you mean to say you know what to do for that? Are ye a charmer, then? A Beaton?" She asked.

I nodded, "Something like that." Her face changed slightly at my confirmation, she was still wary of me but there was something else there now, I couldn't quite pin it down but it was much warmer than whatever she had been feeling towards me before.

"Jamie, Ye heard the lady, ye need tending. This way,  
let's get you out of the rain."

* * *

**Jamie POV:**

_"As you asked, garlic and witch hazel to boil the rags._  
_I also brought you comfrey and cherry bark for the pain."_

_"Perfect."_

_"Call out if you need anything else."_

I tuned out and focused on the fire as Claire and I were left alone. I knew the lass would be needin to get at my wound and I would likely have to loose my shirt, I dinna relish the idea of her seein my back, of trying to hold back her disgust at me.

I swear I left mah body for a moment holdin' meh breath till it was over and I wouldna have to see the look of pity on her face.

I was thrown back into my body when I felt her hand on me, no one had touched my scars, it was strange... I knew where her hands were and that she was being gentle but it was impossible to feel more through the layers of dead skin.

"The Redcoats." I explained, clearing my throat, "Flogged me twice in the space of a week. They'd have done it twice the same day, I expect, were they not afraid of killing me... _there's no joy in flogging a dead man."_

I ment ta be sayin that last bit just ta myself but it was clear she heard me,

"I shouldn't think anyone would do such a thing for joy... which leads me to believe this was the work of a Randall."

a Randall, she said... it was a strange way to put it.

"Hmph, well, If Randall was not precisely joyous, he was at least very pleased with himself." I told her.

I waited for more questions but none came,

"Aren't ya gonna ask me why I was flogged?"

She was silent for a moment, perhaps considering her words, "No, you can tell me if you wish, but I'am certain nothing you did or were charged with doing would justify this."

I hated talking about that day... I did everything I could to even avoid thinking about it, but strangely I found myself wanting to share it with her.

"I was tryin to escape prison... I had been brought in on obstruction charges."

"Obstruction? What's that? It doesn't sound like a serious crime." She asked me.

"Ah, well, I suppose it's whatever the English say it is, it was near to four years ago now. They put a levy on all the land-holders in the county, sent out small parties of soldiers collecting food, horses for transport, and suchlike." I started going back to that day that had started all my troubles off,

"Aye, it was one day in October, Captain Randall came along to our place...my father was away, he'd gone to a funeral. I was up in the fields when I heard shouting."

I told her about Jenny, what Randall did to her, how I'd been too weak to stop it.  
  
"When I woke up, I was trussed up in the wagon with the chickens, jolting down the road to Fort William."

"I'm so sorry." She told me, but I didn't feel like she was just sayin the words, it felt deeper than that, like she somehow understood, "That must have been terrible for you."

"Oh, aye, chickens are very poor company." I tried to joke, getting nervous about how quickly I wanted to bare myself to this sassernach.

"Don't do that, we don't have to talk if you don't want to, but don't hide from me. We're not so different you know... my scars might not be so visible as yours but trust me they are there."

"You have your own Randall then?" I asked, "That husband you were tellin me about?"

"Frank." She nodded, disappearing into her thoughts now just as I had done.

"He fooled me, made me feel safe and wanted at first but then slowly he changed. It was like I could see his soul slowly turning to black right in front of me. He tormented me, sought to destroy every part of me until there was nothing left, each day with him felt like a struggle for air." She spoke and each word passed her lips had been wanted to dig up this Frank and kill him all over again.

"Claire?" I gently tried to get her attention, not wishing to see her thoughts go any darker behind those pretty eyes,

She didn't respond already getting lost in memories I wished to be able to save her from,

"Claire! Mistress, Mrs.Beauchamp!" Finally I got up and took her into my arms bringing her back into the present. Once she realized where she was again she lunged herself into my arms and I was glad to hold her here tight.

I heard a sob break free from her and my good arm crushed her body closer, 

" _Shh shh,_ therhh. Do not cry... no, _shh_." 

"I'm sorry." She told me pulling away to wipe clear her tears, my arms felt bereft and ached to have her body near again.

"I canna undo what ye suffered but I promise yah, you need not be scared of me. Nor anyone else here, so long as I'm with ye." I swore to her.

"When you're not with me?" She asked.

"Just never forget that you're English in a place where that's no a pretty thing to be." I didn't want to scare her but she had to know the dangers here, but meant what I said... as long as I could help it she would never come to any harm again.

* * *

**Claire POV:**

The next day I found myself in the Laird's chambers,

"I welcome ye, mistress. My name is Colum Ban Campbell Mackenzie, Laird of this castle."

He was an older man, with badly disfigured legs, I schooled my eyes and quickly bowed, not knowing what else to do.

"It was my understanding that my brother and his men found you in some apparent distress." He remarked, I had to bite my tongue knowing if I wished to stay he was the one I needed to win over.

"Yes, I was attacked and nearly raped by one of the soldiers of King George II." I explained.

"And other than this, uh, this near rape, you suffered no further molestation?" _You mean beside the rock to the head?_

"No." I tilted my head down, "Please extend my gratitude to your brother for his kind escort." I said with as much reverence as I could muster.

"Yes, of corse, I do myself however wish to know how exactly a lady such as yourself came to be wandering about in the woods, it's interesting."

_Okay, come on Beauchamp sell it._

"I was running away from my husband in Yorkshire, I was certain it was only a matter of time before he killed me and I thought to go to the last place anyone would think to look for an Englishwoman."

"And do you expect to continue to hide from your husband here?"

"Through my... encounter with Captain Randall I learned my husband has passed. However even though I have no need to run from him, I would be very grateful to stay here, I'm sure I could be of use to you and your people, I have a background in medicine if you needed a healer here."

"Yes, Mrs. Fitz mention something about that, I suppose it has been a long time since we've had a healer here. Maybe you can stay for a trial period."

"I would be very grateful," I told him bowing again.

and I would, if I could make a life here, I would be very grateful indeed.


	11. Incorrect Titles

Later Claire found herself in the main dinning hall for her first proper meal at Leoch. She was even presented formally to the Laird Colum and Lady Letitia.

They acted very pleasantly towards her and not at all how Jamie warned things might be with her being English but soon she realized this was by design and the whole meal was a disguised interrogation.

They had supplied her with food and drink to loosen her tongue... she chastised herself for not noticing sooner, she had ought to know better, after all she was married to a member of MI6 and she had fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

Perhaps it was because the questions started off innocently enough at first, they asked about her background and family.

"I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of family, my parents died in a carriage accident when I was very little and I was sent to be raised by my Uncle Lamb, we traveled often and it wasn't until I married that I really became settled anywhere."

"And where is your husband now?" Letitia asked.

"Passed, I believe."

"You believe, you don't know for sure?" She asked skeptically.

"I have only just heard word, I haven't been back home in a while, not seen the body for myself." Claire explained.

"I must say, you don't seem all that bovvered by his passing."

"I suppose there is not much to be bothered by, his reputation as a gentleman was greatly exaggerated. I only knew him to be cruel. Unfortunately men like that don't come labeled, instead most of his station are given the blanket title of gentleman wether or not it fits their character." Claire candidly said, much to the shock and scandal of those that overheard her.

Speaking ill of the dead wasn't done and neither was speaking ill of ones' husband, alive or dead... and Claire had done both.

"So an Englishwoman with no ties nor family shows up in Scotland and finds her way invited to Leoch... sounds convenient." Dougal remarked tipping Claire that this wasn't friendly get to know you chit chat.

She did her best to try and salvage her chances at winning them over but it seemed like a loosing battle,

"I can understand why you would be so weary of me, but I have no motive but to live away from my husband, and now that he is dead I see no reason why I can't do that here and perhaps help your people with what skills I have. You can have me followed around if you must, but I won't ever betray your kindness and generosity. That I swear to you, on the honor and graves of my parents, I swear it."

Dougal just grunted and Colum and Letitia shared a look still not knowing what to think about the strange English woman.

 

* * *

 

**The Next Day:**

Colum had taken her suggestion and Claire now had two "guards" who followed her everywhere. She was given her own space for surgery, and had been busy all day cleaning it out and making it conducive to seeing patients. 

After missing lunch Claire stopped by the kitchen to gather some things, also to give her shadows some rest and sustenance. She had been riding them hard, eager to begin working and proving herself to the people of Leoch.

She especially was eager to tend to her very first patient here.  She had learned Jamie had been sequestered up by the stables for some reason it was important to keep him out of the castle walls. She assumed this had to do with his escape from prison, there must have been more to that story they hadn't gotten to yet.

Honestly it didn't bother her any way she was just eager to seem him alright and check on his wounds. Upon finding Mrs. Fitz Claire asked for directions to the stables while Angus and Rupert, her shadows, collapsed on a nearby bench. They began stuffing their faces no longer paying attention to their mysterious English charge.

"I, uh, I was thinking I should change the bandage on Mr.  Mactavish's shoulder... Jamie." She was quick to clarify upon seeing Mrs. Fitz's confused face at the name Mactavish, Letitia had responded similarly, it was becoming obvious that was not the lad's name.

"Where would I find the stables?"

"Top of the meadow to the east." Mrs. Fitz told her helping her package some food to bring.

On her way out a young girl, no more than 16 came racing though nearly knocking her over.

"Whoa."

"I'm so sorry about that." Mrs. Fitz apologized, "She's just a girl with spirit is all."

Claire nodded, "That's always a good thing."

**Jamie POV:**

I hadn't seen Claire for two days, and the horses weren't much for gossip so I hadn't heard of her either. I wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me I'd miss riding that horse days on end with my sore shoulder and bleedin' woond but aye I did. I missed having the strange lass right in front of me, being able to hold on ta her and pretend it was for safety, of stealing a whiff of her gorgeous curls while no one was looking, of feelin' her roond plump arse- _Stop it!_ I scolded myself turning my attention back to meh work. 

Thats how things had gone since I'd been back, work- think of Claire, force my mind back to work and repeat.

I nearly thought I was dreamin' when I saw her coming up that hill.

"What can I do for you, Mistress Beauchamp?"

She smiles, and I swear I felt my insides go to glue faster than a horse's hoof.

"It's what I can do for you..." She looked down to a basket she carried, "some fresh bandages and some lunch."

We sat and ate, talked like we had not a care in the world. I didnna understand the magic this woman seemed to weave over me but I prayed she never stop.

"Quite the appetite," she remarked, "I should think you'd eat grass if there was nothing else."

"I have." I told her not even embarrassed, "Doesna taste bad, but it's not very filling."

She laughed, amused by the image, "You've actually eaten grass?"

I nodded, "The winter, year before last. I was living rough, you know, in the woods wi' a group of lads, raiding cattle. We'd had poor luck for a week and more and no food amongst us left."

"One might ask why you were raiding cattle and living the life of a thief instead of tending to your own farm."

I was silent for a beat before I just told her the truth, "There was a price on my head. 10 pounds sterling, a farmer's whole year in these parts."

"Seems excessive for a single escaped prisoner."

"No, not for escape... for murder." I could tell I shocked her, and it terrified me that I might be scarrin' her away.  
"But I didn't actually kill the man I'm wanted for." I was quick to add, desperate for her eyes to light up at me again and not look at me with fear and suspicion.

"You're a very complicated man, Mr. Mactavish.."

"Nay, it's a simple story, really. I told you what happened to me at Fort William. I could hardly move for a day or two after I'd been flogged the second time. And I had fever from the wounds. Once I could stand again, though, some some friends made shift to get me out of the camp by means I'd best not go into. And there was some ruckus as we left, and a Redcoat was shot."

"Not by you." it was a statement more than a question.

"To tell you the truth, I was too weak to do more than hang onto the horse... it was four years ago now. More like an old dream, but there it is."

"I take it your real name's not Mr. Mactavish."  
  
"No, it's not."

We talked for a bit longer but soon I was pulled away to tend to meh work again.

"I best be returning to work." I felt my soul buck at the idea of sending her away but I couldn't prolong it any longer, "Thank you for the food and the, uh" the what? the company, the trust, the honor of being in the mere presence of yer beauty... luckily she stepped in before I had to finish my thought,

"Just try not to get flogged or stabbed today. That'll be thanks enough."

I smiled, "No promises, Sassenach."  



	12. Spy Meet Witch

**Claire POV:**

For the next few days I kept a routine of cleaning the surgery, helping Mrs. Fitz harvest food for the kitchen, and visiting Jamie.

I found I liked tending to the vegetable and herb garden, there was a quiet sense of pleasure in touching growing things once more. I felt the satisfaction of helping them thrive similar to when I help a person heal and keep going in their lives just on a smaller scale.

I was in the garden again today when I felt another person join me, at first I assumed it was Angus or Rupert telling me they wanted to get going but then I heard her voice.

"Those kind are poison."

"Oh! I'm sorry." I said chuckling at how startled a woman's voice made me,

"Thanks for the warning," I told her, "though I do know those mushrooms are poisonous."

"Who is it yer planning to do away with? Yer husband, perhaps? Tell me if it works, and I'll try it on mine." The fiery red head told me, jeez and I thought I was the most brazen women around these parts.

"Actually my husband is already dead, thank god. What's yours done?"

I saw her smirk a little at my bluntness and something told me she could be a friend.

"Oh a whole lot of nothin, too fat and old to be doin much of anythin."

I chuckled again at how she held nothing back, it was refreshing, I turned back to the mushrooms and pointed out why I was gathering some,

"Actually its the caps of these mushrooms are poisonous, but you can make a powder out of the dried fungi. It's very effective in stopping bleeding when applied topically."

"Fancy that." She commented, but her tone was a little off I wanted to believe she was impressed but it almost sounded more suspicious strangely.

"My name is Geillis, Geillis Duncan." She introduced herself.

"I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself, my name is-"

"I know who ye are, Claire." She said cutting me off.

"The village has been humming with talk of ye since you came to the castle."

I froze a little, "What is it they're saying about me?" I asked pretty sure I already knew the answer.

"That you're likely a Sassenach spy." I felt a little deflated but I told myself things would get better once I started seeing patients, I was opening up the surgery tomorrow.

"You know, those will start bleeding to get rid of a child you don't want." I looked to where she was pointing coming out of my own thoughts, "Brings on your flux." She explained,

"But only if you use it early. Too late, and it can kill you as well as the child. The girls in the village come to me every now and again for such things."

Maybe my skills wouldn't be needed if the people here already had Geillis.

"They say I'm a witch." Uh, maybe I stood a chance, surely a sassernach was better than a rumored witch.

"Are you?" I asked, amused to be back in a time where such a thing was believed about women.

"Hardly." She remarked, "Although I am aware of how wood betony can transform toads into pigeons." She joked... I think.

"You should come visit me sometime down in the village. I have a cabinet full of potions and medicinals I wager would tickle yer fancy."

I had to admit I was intrigued but wasn't sure being seen going to her home would do much for my reputation.

"But I hope I'll see you tonight at the hall."

"The hall?" I asked, but she was already walking away from, perhaps she was a witch, I didn't even hear her get up.

 **Later than evening** I went to the hall for a meeting of sorts.

I saw Collum sitting on his throne in the front of the room and my eyes naturally fell to his legs.

After a few days of observation I believed I had diagnosed Collum's condition. My best guess was he had Pycnodysostosis, or Toulouse-Lautrec syndrome. The condition causes the bones to be abnormally dense resulting in brittle bones prone to breakage in the legs, feet, jaw, and collar bone that also undergo slow but progressive deterioration.

It is a very rare disease, both mother and father would have to be carriers to pass along the mutation... although if there was inbreeding the chances are certainly higher, and during this time marrying one's cousin to keep land and money in the family was, unfortunately for Collum, a common practice.

Unfortunately there was no cure, and not much I could do to alleviate Collum's discomfort.

The meeting went on and I began to understand it was a sort of town hall, people brought their grievances and the Laird did his best to solve the issue.

It was difficult for me to understand everyone but I could pick up enough.

"Kyle Ferguson, step forward and present yourself."

A middle aged man and the young spirited woman who had run into me earlier were now in front of Collum, I didn't like how he was handling her, and I wanted to stand up and shout at him to leave the girl alone. I had to clamp down on my seat and look down in order to control myself.

"No!" I recognized the voice... my head shot up again to see Jamie step forward, apparently he didn't like what was happening any more than I did.

But my pride in him only lasted a second before it was replaced by worry, it seemed he was stepping in to take this girl's punishment.

Damnit, he was just healing. I hated the thought of him getting hurt, it was like I could feel each blow on my own body.

"Do ye fancy young Jamie then?"

I turned and saw Geillis had taken a seat next to me,

"It looks like yer knuckles have gone white holding on to yer seat,"

I didn't care what she said, I just needed this to end,

"How long must this go on for?" I asked the desperation in my voice obviously answering her earlier question.

"Only until blood's drawn, usually when their nose is broken."

I felt myself getting queasy and had to look away again, "This is barbarous." I said getting up to leave before I fainted or got sick in public,

"Claire!" Geillis urgently whispered behind me to trying to get me to listen, she grabbed my arm,

"This way is quicker, and you'll stir less gossip." She told me leading me out the back as everyone else was distracted by what was happening up front.

Away from the crowd I leaned against the cold stone wall and took some deep breaths.

I wondered what had me so upset, was it just the violence, the brutality... or was it that it was being done to Jamie that disturbed me so? How had I come to care for him so much so quickly so... intensely?

**Jamie POV:**

The punch to my bullet woond knocked me back and I lost my sight fer a moment. But finally it seemed Dougal was satisfied.

Murtagh helped me up and took me out of the hall, walking through the corridor I quickly spotted Claire who was looking poorly and aye felt my heart race with fear something may be wrong with the sassernach.

I steered Murtagh over to her and Geillis Duncan,

"What's happened to her, is she alright?!"

"What's happened to her is you, the lass nearly lost her supper watchin' yer fool behind get beat." Geillis told me.

She cared... my Sassernach cared about me, I think in that moment I found myself accepting the idea I verry much wanted her to be mine.

"You don't have to talk around me, I'm standing right here." The lass sassed me, and despite the pain in my body I smiled, feelin nothin but lucky.

She insisted I follow her back to her surgery so she could fix her work that I surely wrecked and I was only too happy to follow along despite Murtagh's disapproving grunts.

Once we were alone I could tell something was bothering my sassernach, but I said nothing and let her come out with it on her own.

"Why did you do that? Take that girl's punishment? Do you know her?" She asked.

"Ken who she is." Why was she concerned about Laoghaire? "Haven't really spoken to her, though." I explained.

"Then why?" She asked getting upset with me,

I sighed, "It would have shamed the lass to have been beaten in the hall before everyone that knows her." She looked down processing my words.

"It's easier for me. I'm sore, but I'm nae really damaged.

I'll get over it in a couple days."

She moved closer to me and was bringing her hand up to me face, _to caress my cheek... or brush my hair from my eyes... or maybe to pull me in for a kiss_... I dinna know- we were interrupted,

"Oh, here ye are, lad." Mrs. Fitz and Laoghaire entered the room causing Claire to jump back and busy herself again with her work,

"Rinse your mouth with this... It'll cleanse the cuts and ease the pain. Willow bark tea, with a bit of ground orris root. Ground up well." She told me handing me the ingredients for the tea. Suddenly there seemed to be too much distance between us and I didn't like it.

I knew Mrs. Fitz and Laoghaire just wanted to come and thank me, be polite but I'd wished they'd leave so I could be alone again with my Sassernach, half of her seemed to disappear around other people, not with me tho, I felt she didn't hide so much of herself around me, and it honored me greatly but I get to missing that side of her when we're aroond others, like a dear friend has suddenly vanished and i'm meant to act as tho nothin is wrong or missing.

* * *

 

**Elsewhere:**

Dougal snuck out after their was no more business in the hall, he was making his way out past the castle walls to the nearby village in the cover of night.

He entered the local tavern and searched the crowd for the spot of red hair, finding what he was looking for he made his way over.

"Weel?" he asked wanting to know what his little witch had found out for him.

"She seems to know her way aroond fungus." Geillis told him.

He narrowed his eyes at her and she fessed up more,

"She seems smitten over Jamie but otherwise harmless." She told him.

"Are you positive?" Dougal pressed.

"I havna known her long enough to be positive over anythin."

"Weel keep close the next few days, I have to leave with the rental party soon, I dinna want to leave her behind unless yer sure she can be trusted."


	13. The Way Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one child is dying from a visit to Black Kirk so Claire isn't put in a position to anger too many people just yet. Also I'm making a few time jumps, nothing major some weeks here and there to move the story along.

The rental party was leaving the next day, just in a few hours time and Dougal and Geillis had met up again to talk.

"Weel, why have ya called fer us to meet again so soon?" Geillis asked moving towards him, they were out in a clearing in the forest.

"It seem Mistress Beauchamp won't be joining us come the morn." 

"Is that so?" the fiery lass asked inching one eyebrow up in a question.

"Seem since opening her surgery she has impressed meh brither an he is insistent she stay behind, Aye will nee ya to keep an eye on her while I'm gone."

"Might I suggest you be takin young Jamie with you t'morrow, separating him from Claire will make her easier to get close to."

"Was thinkin of takin him anyway, sight of his lashes will help us earn more for the rebellion."

* * *

The Next Day

**Claire POV:**

Things had been going better for me since I had started seeing to people's... _what was it Mrs. Fitz called it? Oh yes..._ the physicking.

At first many were uncomfortable with seeing not only a woman but an Englishwoman but eventually word had gotten 'round I wasn't so bad and the people of Leoch had started to put their trust in me.

I knew it would be along time for anyone to see me as a friend or as one of them but in my surgery at least they saw me as someone who was not a threat, not an enemy, but someone who could help.

I knew Dougal still had his doubts about me but Collum at least seemed to be warming to my presence. Even my guards had gotten so relaxed they stayed in the kitchen most of the time when I saw to patients.

I remember it was just last week when I heard of Shona MacNeill and how she lost her boy. I was furious no one had come to get me so I might try to save him. Apparently they believed Lindsay MacNeill had been weakened and killed by demons of all things after exploring some old ruins known as the Black Kirk. I wanted to shout at them for being so daft but I was a woman who had fallen through time, who was I to say what was real?

True I didn't believe in demons or magic and believed whatever had killed Lindsay could be explained through science but trying to argue that, to prove it to his mother or anyone else wouldn't bring him back and certainly wouldn't help earn other's trust. I'd be seen as a witch or devil worshiper and all the progress I'd made since coming here would be gone.

It was hard though to bite my tongue and say nothing, so terribly hard. Harder still when later Collum confided in me he believed his condition to be punishment of the devil for something he'd done, but again I held my tongue. I couldn't go talking to him of genetics or DNA so I just kept my head down and did my best to alleviate some of his pain through massage however small a portion it might be.

Jamie and I continued to grow close, I was hesitant to admit any kind of romantic feelings for a man after my husband, afraid to trust my judgement in that area again but Jamie made it very difficult not to.

I could feel my cheeks warming at just the thought of him. It seemed I wasn't the only one taken with him tho, Laoghaire MacKenzie also had a very obvious crush for the man who had stepped in to take her punishment. She would follow him around like a love sick puppy, I just hoped I wasn't so transparent and juvenile with my budding admiration. 

I believed he had given me some reason to hope he might feel the same, he kept finding excuses to come see me in surgery. I can't be sure if he's just really that clumsy or cursed with bad luck or if he had been purposely getting hurt just so I could fix him up again. But part of me hoped it was the later, a bigger part then perhaps I was ready to admit.

He was leaving soon, he had come to tell me earlier. He was going with Dougal to collect the rents for Collum, he would be gone for several weeks, maybe longer. The thought of being at Leoch without him had me suddenly seeing what a dreary place Scotland was.

_Thinking back to earlier that morning..._

_footsteps altered me that someone was hear, I turned around and spotted Jamie coming down the stairs._

_"Before breakfast, this has to be a record for you." I teased him before noticing his expression, it seemed sad and I hated whatever it was that had affected him so immediately._

_"What is, whats wrong?" I asked worriedly._

_"I'm afraid I've come to say goodbye Sassernach." He told me moving close to me, his eyes falling to every corner of my face as tho he was trying to memorize it._

_"Goodbye?_ _What do you mean?"_

_"Aye be leavin wit Dougal an the rest shortly for the rents." He explained, it wasn't as if he was going for ever or that either one of us was dying, so why did this seem so hard, so impossible to have to say goodbye to him?_

_"Will you now?" I muttered struggling to find the right words._  
  
_He moved even closer to me somehow and brushed the fallen curls out of my face._

_"I'm afraid so." I saw his eyes glance down to gaze at my lips, would he kiss me goodbye?_

_"Be careful while imma way, won't you. I know you've made progress but there's still dangers here for you Sassernach."_

_I nodded while my own eyes fell to his lips and wondered what they would feel like... taste like. My breathing was coming shorter and I actually started to feel a little faint._

_"I promise," I told him, "I'll be careful, but promise me you'll try to come back in one piece."_

_"I'll do my damnedest to return safely... to return to you." He said and cusped my cheeks in his large hands, his head started coming down and suddenly I panicked, he must have seen it because instead of kissing me senseless he just touched our foreheads together._

_"Till we meet again Mo Nighean Donn." He whispered to me, and then he was gone._

 

* * *

 

**Jamie POV:**

Every night I had dreamed of my brown haired lass, the thought of her kept me warm on the chilly nights. She wasn't mine, not yet, not technically, but that couldna stop my heart from claiming her anyway. I had bin away from Leoch for almost 7 weeks, it was taking longer then expected due to Mr. Ned Gowan's cough, I'm sure Claire would have known just what to do ta fix 'em up but all us lot was able to offer him were frequent breaks for him to try an catch his breath.

Dougal used the extra time to his advantage taking me 'roond to public houses and tavern. I had lost count the number of time Dougal has striped the shirt off me and paraded me aroond for coins, at least mo nighean donn wasn't here to see that. I doubt she would have stood for it, probably would have gotten right in Dougal's face about it and stirred up plenty of trouble for her and me both.

I smile thinking the look that would come over meh uncle's face if Claire did ever scold him in a crowded tavern. Hopefully she was keeping her promise and stayin out of trouble back at Leoch. I hate to think of her in trouble and me not knowing it not being able to help her.

**Claire POV:**

It had been over two months since I last saw Jamie and every day I've regretted not stopping him from leaving without that kiss we almost shared. I thought about other ladies he might meet on the journey, more young lasses like Laoghaire, all younger and Scottish with much bigger bosoms then I. I was sure he'd come back married and I'd have to make peace with it, with my regrets, for the rest of my life.

Other than missing Jamie things had been going well for me. I had been keeping my promise and staying out of trouble although Geillis Duncan seemed to trying her best to see me in it. She had gotten more aggressive with her attempts at friendship, but unlike the many men she was able to charm around to her side I was fair bit more resistant.

It wasn't that I disliked her or she had outright done anything wrong towards me but there was something about her eyes... _calculating._ It reminded me of what Mrs. Graham had said about Frank once. I'm not saying Geillis is anything like Frank but its clear to me she wears a mask, and I won't be taken for a fool again.

"Mistress Beauchamp!" I heard shouting of my name, the voice was panicked I looked up to see one of Dougal's men who had gone with the rent party, _oh god was Jamie hurt?_

"Mistress Beauchamp! You need to come its Jamie!"


	14. Both Sides Now

**3rd Person POV:**

_{Walk & Talk as Claire and a member of the Rent party move from her Surgery out to the horses.}_

"What is it? What's wrong with Jamie is he hurt?" Claire asked frantically.

"Aye, probably." Dougal's man said.

"Probably! You don't know?!" She shouted

"He got ina wee skirmish wi' a lobster back in hiding now he's bin summoned tae Brigadier General Sir Oliver Lord Thomas; Dougal's determined to get the lad back but he says he be needing yer help ta do it."

"My help, what does he think I can do?" 

"My guess........... be English." He tells her.

* * *

 

**Jamie POV:**

Damn thick headed fool I am, I canna believe -- no no, I may have been foolish and stepped in it a bit but Dougal, he's who's really has me strung up by meh short hairs.

_Thinking back a few days..._

_We had been collecting the rents when_ _Dougal ordered me ta get a goat from a family as payment, the wife had just given birth and pleaded they needed the goat for her milk. I couldna go against Dougal's wishes but I thought I could help by milking her once more for them, I barked orders at a laddy near by thinking him a farm hand. I had hoped us doing the work together would get it done faster thereby not raising my Uncle hackles any with waiting. Turns out the lad I barked orders at was a filthy red coat._

_Apparently he dinna like being ordered about... alright I also mave degraded him a tad when it was obvious he couldna tell a teet from ay tic bite. Luckily for me he knew he couldna do much being surrounded by so many Scots but he 'ordered me' ta report to the Brigadier General in three days time. Dougal told him he'd be there as well, I should ha told him no, it was a terrible idea fer him to go along with meh._

_Thinking Back to a few minutes ago..._

The General had about as many names as me and then some, he was ready to send me to a labor camp for disrespecting a member of his majesty's army. Thats when Dougal had to open his mouth...

"Weel ya please forgive the lad, he's normally very respectful its just he's a wedding ta get to. We've been traveling weeks longer then we've intended and he's itching to get back to his bride in time, I'm sure he dinna mean to insult the young gentleman whose logged the complaint."

"And why should I find it my concern about his nuptials?"

"Weel, it's a English Lass he is ta be marryin, it goes to show the respect he normally feels to any member of his majesty's kingdom."

The whole room looked shocked, me included, I had no idea what Dougal was playing at but I quickly tried to mask my surprise and put my trust in him just a little bit longer.

"An Englishwoman, is marrying a highlander... of her own free will?"

I had to grind my teeth not to spit out a comment after hearing that.

Dougal shot me a look letting me know I had better assuage them.

"Aye, I find it hard ta believe meh self I am a very lucky man, why I was so eager to be getting back ta her and lost sight of my manners, my sincere apologies." I said dipping into a bow.

"I think I should like to be witness to this very merry of occasions, we shall keep Mr. McTavish here while your men fetch this English lass, I assure you we will help put on a most festive day for the celebrations IF the lady in question is as willing as you have said we shall wish you both a happy life and send you both your way."

"Thank you meh Lord." I bowed again.

I was allowed to see Dougal off before returning to a holding cell they had form me.

"What the bloody hell do you think yer doing Uncle?"

"I think I'm saving your hide like I've always done."

"You canna just force Claire to come here and be meh wife!"

"I can and I will."

"What about the bans?"

"I'll be sorting that out with Ned as Finlay rides to collect Claire, now keep your wits about you while we're away don't be going and getting yerself killed after all this trouble I've be going through."

* * *

 

Later that night Jamie layed awake thinking of Claire, there were worse women to be tied to for the rest of your life. Actually if he was honest the thought of Claire as his Mrs's made feel drunk with happiness. But this certainly issn't how he ever saw it happening.

He wanted more time to pursue her, to make her feel as he did already not ta force her before she was truly ready ta open her heart up again.

All he could do was pray there'd be time for that later, if she agreed to go through with it at all, despite what Dougal said he wasna gonna be forcin her if it be against her wishes.


	15. The Wedding Part 1

**Claire POV:**

Finlay and I make time by never stopping, not through the night nor even to relieve our bladders, I feel unbelievably sorry for the poor horse underneath us. We met up with Dougal and the rest of the men but I see Jamie is not among them.

I go up to Murtaugh, "Where is he?"

Murtaugh takes me aside where Ned joins us and they fill me in on what is going on but I'm not given much time to process everything before Dougal grabs me and starts dragging me up on another horse to take me the rest of the way to the garrison.

**3rd Person POV:**

Claire arrives to Jamie's rescue and enters the garrison into a house full of English officers, all in full regalia and wigs. After a procession of formal introductions she is shown into the dinning room where there is a lavish well-laden table set before her. Her stomach sinks a little thinking about how the true owner's of this house are probably going hungry somewhere while her countrymen are occupying it to their content.

Sir Oliver Lord Thomas stands from the head of the table and warmly welcomes her.

"Come in! Come in! Please this is a most enjoyable treat to have you here, it has been far too long since I last gazed upon a lovely English rose." He compliments her showing her to the opposite end of the table and even pulling her chair out for her.

"I must confess I am endlessly excited to hear your tale." He says taking his seat again at the head of the table.

"I assure you it's nothing so interesting." Claire said trying to curb his expectations.

"Oh nonesnese, a lovely English lady winding up engaged to a savage highlander, I love a good story, I've not heard a good one since I first set foot upon this blasted turf and this one seems like quite the tale. Please I'm sure your famished, enjoy the venison while you regale us with your story, only the very best quality I assure you."

Claire nodded and par took in a glass of wine and some food.

She tried to keep the story as close to the truth as possible in case they had asked Jamie already and were testing to see if their tale's matched.

"I left England to hide in Scotland from my husband, he was a brutal man who would surely have killed me if I stayed. It was my belief he would never think to look for me this far north.

I was able to find work among Beatons as an apprentice healer. Being English I sometimes couldn't help myself from traveling to see to our own wounded soldiers now that I had knowledge to help ease their suffering if I had heard word of a scrimmage.

It was on such a trip I accidentally came to learn of my husband's passing, it was a shock... just hearing his name again shook me to my core, it took a while to even comprehend what the rest of it had been. 

I must have stumbled out into the wilderness trying to get some air to calm my nerves, it was then I had been set upon by a brute of a man who thought he could force himself upon me.

Thankfully a member of clan MacKenzie had been nearby, Murtaugh, he wasn't exactly gentle himself but he saw me to safety away from my more imminent peril. 

Next thing I knew I was at a tavern with more members of the clan, I was dazed trying to come to grips with my husband's death and then my attack, I only got a hold of myself when I noticed one of their men was badly injured. I got to work and recalled all I had learned and in doing so regained my composure.

The man I helped that night was Jamie, I was brought back to MacKenzie lands at Leoch were I became their new healer. And it seemed every day almost Jamie had a new injury, finally it occurred to me this was on purpose... so he might spend more time with me.

I hadn't been single in such a long time I almost missed the signs he was interested in me in that way. Obviously despite what my husband did to me it was still too soon to think about moving on but we began a friendship, a friendship that has meant a great deal to me.

I won't lie and say I never thought of returning home of leaving these lands for a safer life but when I left Frank and began working I was overcome with a sense of purpose, it probably isn't the most lady like thing to admit but I believe I'd miss healing dreadfully if I returned home and left Scotland.

Here there is a certain freedom I have found even though it comes at a price of danger and uncertainty and I find I am unwilling to give it up.

Jamie has been worried about me staying at Leoch, it's not that he wishes me to leave but he worries about not always being around to protect me if someone of lesser morals then him was offended by my _Englishness_.

He asked before leaving with the rent party that I accept his proposal of marriage so that I may stay here as a Scot and be afforded a certain amount of protection under his name.

I'm sure you find me a very strange woman, perhaps even an offensive one but I accepted believing Jamie to be the most decent of men and I profess to all of you here I would be honored to become his wife."

Silence befell the room once Claire was finished with her story, it was very uncomfortable and she badly wished to have some sort of clue as to what the men were feeling towards her and her story.

Finally Sir Oliver Lord Thomas spoke, "Well," He said raising his glass, "It seems we have a wedding to plan."

It was a whirlwind of activities as Claire was swept away to be cleaned and dressed while the lieutenant's put Dougal and his men to work readying the front room for the ceremony.

**Jamie POV:**

Thaur seemed tae be lots ay commotion happenin' abune me but aye cooldnae be sure if 'at was a good ur a poor sign.

Aye heard footsteps comin closer an' readied myself fer a fight if need be before aye recognized mah godfaither's face.

"Murtaugh! Thank the heaven's mate what hell is happening up there?"

"The Sassernach has come through, you'll be getting out of here but you'll be doin it as a married man I'm afraid."

I couldn't help the little smile that came across my face, _did that mean Claire was really going to be meh wife?_ I never could have dreamed myself so lucky.

I straightened my mouth quickly when I saw my Godfather's expression, he wasn't quite as happy as I. 

"Let's just get it over with, we're gonna need to clean ye up some first tho."

* * *

  **Claire POV:**

Was I really about to do this? The whole thing did seem to be a bit of a farce, like a play we were putting on to entertain the men, my mind flashed to USO performers, I'd of corse much rather do a Andrew's Sisters rendition then get mock married. But Jamie needed my help and if felt like the right thing to do.

A servant was helping me get dressed, it was a gaudy and elaborate costume that I'm sure made me look ridiculous but it was all for show, at least that's what I kept telling myself.

_**Knock**Knock**_

"Are you ready then, Mistress Beachaump?" A voice from behind the door wanted to know.

"Yes, I shall be along presently."

On with the show, I guess.


	16. The Wedding Part 2

**3rd Person POV:**

The Wedding had been very English, nothing of the customs Jamie was familiar with had been incorporated. They repeated after the officiant and then were told to kiss.

Jamie was pleased to be leaving with his life and most pleased to have his Sassenach on his arm but something felt empty about the whole thing... incomplete.

A few miles out Dougal stopped the party and gathered everyone around to discuss matters now that he was confident it had not been a trick, allowing Jamie to leave.

"I think we can all agree what took place up there was nay anythin we can count as a proper marriage, Ned and I had to swear my brither's name to work around the bans and I shall not be makin a fool of him or a liar of us, so before we return to Leoch ye'll be properly married, and it'll be properly consummated so there can be no doubt to the legality of this... union," That last word being said with some frustration, him still not fully trusting the lass.

Claire felt sick about having to truly become someone's wife again so soon but Jamie was relieved and very happy to hear Claire would become his bride proper.

**Jamie POV:**

Claire had been skittish around me since Dougal gave his orders, I had hoped she felt more fer me that she might be happy ta truly become meh wife, perhaps it was just pity she felt that brought her all this way ta spare meh life.

I only hope she could grow ta love me as I found I already did her. 

Dougal was a smart man and easily picked up some resistance coming from Claire and was quick to remind me what had to be done sending Ned to go over how quickly and transparently I must _bed_ her.

"The marriage must be consummated right away and witnesses must swear that they were present in the building if not in the room itself."

I didn't like how we kept having to get married fer other people, first the British now the clan, I wanted us to get married fer no one but each other.

"Might we not give her more time to adjust ta me an the marriage before that must be done." I asked hoping I could spare her some uncomfortableness and embarrassment as surly the men would be crass about the whole matter.

"She has no say in such things," Dougal interrupted rather forcefully,

"I thought you didn't want with rape?"

"No rape. Persuasion. She's a smart lass. She'll see the reason for it in the end, but there can be no secret agreements between the two of ya, you... saying that you have when you have not. Besides, I can think of worse things in my lifetime than holding onto that pair of sweet chiche, plunging my cock..."

"Yeah, enough! thats meh wife yer talking about!"

"Not yet she isn't"

"Tay me she is and I'll thank you to stop talking and thinking of her like some common whore." I warned Dougal ready to kill meh own uncle if he kept disrespecting her so.

I asked Murtaugh to help find a kilt fer me ta wear with Fraser colors while Angus and Rupert saw the blacksmith to fashion Claire a wedding ring from the key to Lallybrook.

While the lads were busy I determined to seek out meh bride ta try and calm whatever nerves she was havin.

I found her by a stream staring off,

"Are ye alright Mistress Beauchamp?"

"You won't be able to call me that for much longer." She said somewhat sadly and it stabbed me like a knife ta hear she was na proud and excited to bare my name.

"I dinna want ye ta feel ye have no choice in this matter, if it was not fer my Uncles... Colum in particular, I would sooner walk back to the garrison then see ye forced into anything you dinna want."

She turned to look at meh sadly, "It's not that Jamie, I think you know I have feelings for you, and part of me can see us being very happy together..."

"Then what is it thats worryin ye?" I asked desperate to fix it, ta fix it fer her... fer us.

"Does it not bother you that I've done this before?" She asked and I thought about it, aye it was true I hated that another man had _known_ her but I hated more that he had hurt her and meh happiness that it would be my duty and honor to see that never happened again eclipsed any feelings of jealousy.

"No, it does not bother me that ye've had a husband before or that yer not a virgin... as long as I'm the last husband ye'll ever have, ever want, and that it does na bother you that I am... a virgin that is."

She looked up at me shocked at that last bit making me feel self conscious over my lack of experience pleasin' a woman, I could feel the heat rising to my face... spreading to my ears.

**Claire POV:**

He was a virgin? The thought never occurred to me, I had been too occupied by my own thoughts and worries about our union I never contemplated what all of this meant to him.

He was acting like he loved me even if he hadn't said it explicitly, did he really tho? I wondered if he did or was it just lust and the excitement of bedding me, of bedding anyone, that he had confused the emotion with?

Soon the men were back and we had been separated to later meet at the church, there was more I wish I could talk to him about before this was all finalized but I suppose there would have to be time for that later.

Before I knew it I was dressed up and waiting outside a church, it was surreal, I barely felt I had control over my limbs.

But then I saw him, I saw Jamie step out of the church coming towards me and the way he looked at me, like I light up his whole world, no one had ever looked at me that way before and for this first time in my life I think I was able to get out of my own head and just feel... trust... that perhaps this man was always meant to be my husband.

**3rd Person POV:**

Claire stood outside the church, having an out of body experience...

'How did I get here?' she thought to herself, standing in another wedding gown about to marry a man she hardly knew, and this time there would be no pretending it was just for show.

She knew this was real, that Jamie was good and earnest and would genuinely try his hardest to make their marriage a good one. Could she say the same tho?

She was hiding so much from him, she felt like a fraud, like Frank even... lying to the one who was willing to freely give his heart while she was hiding hers.

She couldn't do it, she couldn't go through with this... not without having a real talk with Jamie first.

Jamie emerged from the church, his hair seemed to ignite under the sun it glowed so brightly. She felt her heart flutter at the sight of him, he was a beautiful man, she didn't feel she really deserved someone so good. 

She felt flooded with guilt at the thought of ignoring her conscious and walking towards him without confessing her truths. She knew he deserved that from her, and she owed it to herself as well, otherwise, she'd be signing on to another marriage that might be doomed from the beginning. 

"I can't do this, there is something we need to talk about before we walk in there." She blurted out to Jamie before she lost the nerve.

Jamie seemed unsure and looked around at the men surrounding them, weighing the need to take care of Claire even if it meant sacrificing some of his pride.

To him Claire was already his wife through the English ceremony, he desperately wanted the Scottish wedding as well for his sense of country, family, and tradition, but he knew given the choice between Claire and anything else, he would choose Claire, he had already sworn himself to her.

Despite disapproving grunts from Murtaugh and a look meant to kill from Dougal, he took Claire off by some trees a little walk away from the church for a talk. 

Securing as much privacy as he could he turned to Claire, "what is it, lass?"

Claire looked down sucking in a deep breath...

"My last marriage, it wasn't good... I didn't really know who he was when we married, he hid his true self away from me and I don't... I can not do that to you."

Jamie caressed her cheek with his palm, "Sorcha, you are not him, this is just some wedding nerves nothing to frash over."

"Randall," She chocked out, Jamie made a confused face not following what she meant by uttering that bastards name today of all days,

Her eyes filled with tears but she forced herself to look at Jamie, "My husband... his name was Frank Randall."

Jamie dropped his hand from her, his face losing all color.

"I'm so sorry Jamie, I don't want to hurt you but keeping something so large from you felt too close to lying and I don't want there to be lies between us, I don't want that kind of marriage again. I swear to you I am not a spy and I would die before hurting you or your kin but my husband was a relative to the man who hurt you, your sister. I understand if you can't look at me the same and no longer want to go through with this."

Jamie had turned his back to her and was supporting himself against a tree, reeling from Claire's revelation. 

How was he meant to process something so huge moments before his wedding, he wanted to be mad at Claire for telling him but he understood why she did it and even respected her for it. But the idea she had lain with a Randall turned his stomach, he couldn't deny that and he was afraid if he did turn around he would look at her differently.

He heard the crunch of leaves as Claire approached, she gently laid a hand on his shoulder, "Jamie please... say something."

Jamie closed his eyes and slowly turned towards her, he held his breath as he blinked open his eyes afraid everything he felt for Claire previously might have disappeared in those few moments he had turned his back to her.

When she came into focus, the first thing he saw was the pain in her eyes, and immediately he knew... it didn't matter, it didn't matter who came before him, just like her Englishness didn't matter a damn to him, she was his and he would protect her and love her for the rest of his life.

She was his sassenach wife, and it was time to wed her propper.

"Thank you for telling me, that could not have been easy for you."

Claire dropped her head expecting him to dismiss her and dissolve their union.

She felt him move closer to him and steeled herself for the rejection she surely felt was coming.

"James Alexander Mackenzie Frasher," She looked up to see his hand extended, "you were brave enough to trust me with your real name, Claire... Randall, thought it was only right you have mine."

"My name is Beauchamp... before I was married, I didn't lie about that."

"Well, then Ms. Beauchamp, shall we walk back to our wedding, I think we might be making our guests a little nervous."

Claire was stunned, "you still want to..."

"Aye, I do. I understand we dinna know all about each other but I agree with you, there might be room for secrets but let us promise no lies in this marriage,"

Claire nodded in agreement,

"One more thing before we return Sorcha, you can never tell anyone what you have told me here. Do you understand?"

"Yes,"

"Then let us be wed."

 

**Claire POV:**

There was very little I understood about our actual ceremony, most was in Latin or Gaelic but the parts in English: 

"I, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser take, thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forth, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... till death us do part."

_I'll remember those parts, how I felt hearing them, saying them..._

"I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp take, thee, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day... in sickness and in health... till death us do part."

 _I'll remember those parts for as long as I'll live. We'll that and the slitting of my wrist, that was quite the shock._  
  
I asked Jamie what the Gaelic bits had meant later during our wedding night and it nearly moved me to tears:

"You are blood of my blood and bone of my bone. I give you my body that we two may be one. I give you my spirit... till our life shall be done."

"You may kiss yer bride."  
  
And the moment our lips touched in that church, I felt something shift inside of me, even though I'd time-traveled I was still very rooted in science and facts, what could be proven, but the sensation that went through my body at that exact moment... I think that's as close to believing in magic as I will get.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for wedding night chapter, I'll try to get that up before the weekend is through.


	17. Wedding Nite

**3rd Person POV:**

Claire and Jamie walked into a room they had procured above the tavern on their way back to Leoch. 

Neither dared utter a word and an uncomfortable silence befell the room.

Finally Jamie, needed to say something clear his throat and prepared to speak,

"I wanna thank yer, Claire, fer marryin me."

"Which time?"

"Both."

Claire nodded and wrapped her arms around herself feeling very self conscious.

"I know this cannae be the wedding yer imagined but aye swear te ya I will be a good husband te ya."

Claire let her hands fall to her sides allowing her protective stance to drop at Jamie's sincere words.

"I believe you will Jamie, it just I didn't ever really wanted to be married again, at least not so soon after Frank."

"I would never treat ye like Frank," Jamie growled out.

Claire studied him for a moment trying to decide if she believed him... his eyes were alight with intense passion, but there wasn't any malice there... not for her.

"I believe you, Jamie. I think you will make a fine husband, I'm just not sure how good of a wife I will be to you at the moment." Claire admitted.

"Will ye be faithful to me?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, I would never betray or humiliate you." Claire quickly told him.

Jamie nodded, "I will never betray ye either Claire."

Claire took in his words and nodded accepting them.

"Will ye ever lie ta meh?" He asked.

"No, not outright but it is hard for me to trust... there are things about me I am not sure I am ready to share just yet, I knew you deserved to know about my Randall but-" Claire admitted.

"There are things I cannae not tell ye either, at least not yet. And I'll ask nothin of ye that ye cannae give me. But what I would ask of ye when ye do tell me somethin' let it be the truth. And I'll promise ye the same. We have nothing now between us, save respect perhaps. Like we said before, I think that respect has maybe room for secrets, but not for lies."

Claire nodded, "I can agree to that,"

Jamie took a step toward her, "Then I think ye will make meh a fine wife Claire Fraser."

He reached out a hand to cup her cheek and Claire couldn't help but to melt a little into him.

"There's one more thing I need you to promise me, Jamie."

"Aye? And what is that?"

Claire looks deep into his eyes so he can see she is serious,

"That you will never, ever, strike me... if you ever do, it will be the first and only time, do you understand me?"

"I take yer meaning Sassernach, but then I must ask you something in return... that ye will never disobey me when it comes to yer safety, that is the only course I could see where I would have warrant to reprimand ye."

"I will never be meek or submissive, I can't be that person again, but if you rationally explain the dangers I will agree to defer to you on what the best course of action is for us, you having more knowledge of... (she almost says this time but catches herself) of Scotland."

"Then I think ours will be a happy marriage." He takes her into his arms again and brushes some of her curls behind her ear, "Mo nighean donn, I am gonna kiss yer now."

Jamie presses his lips firmly against Claire's and it's not too much longer before passion starts to build between them.

Claire opens her mouth slightly and shocks Jamie by gently tracing his upper lip with the tip of her tongue.

"Christ, Sassernach," Jamie growls before plundering her mouth with vigor holding nothing back from his new bride.

His kiss leaves Claire dizzy from lack of oxygen, "Where did you learn to kiss like that?" She asks having believed Jamie to be inexperienced,

"I said I was a virgin... not a monk. If I need guidance... I'll ask." He forcibly turns her around and starts working on unlacing her dress and corset.  
  
Finally free of the restricting material Claire steps away from him and looks him up and down, "I believe it's your turn now." She tells him speaking of his clothing.

Jamie with fire in his eyes never breaks from her gaze as his disrobes.

Free now apart from his tunic he stalks towards Claire intent on taking her right this moment but last minute nerves claim her and she takes a step back.

"I'm I'm sorry, we don't have ta.... I would never force ye ta lay with me."

Claire looks down feeling foolish for her moment of panic, "it's not that, it's just... there is still so much we don't know about each other, maybe we could just talk for a while."

"Aye, tis a fine idea, let me pour us both a drink first." Jamie says but needs to turn away from her for several moments to try and get a handle on his urges so he doesn't just throw her down on the table and take her.

After some deep breaths and two glasses of whiskey, he feels more in control to face her again.

He hands her a cup and raises his own taking another large gulp.

"What is it you wish to discuss, Sassernach?"

"Will you tell me about your family?" She asks.

"How many generations back?"

She smiles, "your parents will do."

"Aye. My father was a Fraser... of course. My mother was Aileen Mackenzie, the elder sister of Colum and Dougal. My aunt Janet is dead, like my mother, but my aunt Jocasta resides in the new world. I worshiped my father and was blessed he got to see me grow up. I was always grateful for that and I also have my sister, Jenny, named after my aunt who passed. And what of your family Sassernach?"

"I've never had much in the way of family, both my parents died when I was very young, I was no more than 5 years old. No brother or sisters or grandparent's I just had my uncle Lamb, he was my father's brother and I lived with him even after I was grown we had a very close bond... I was devastated when he passed and then not long after I met Frank."

Jamie took Claire's hand and held it in his own, "I will be yer family now, Mo nighean donn."

"You've called me that before, what does it mean?"

"My brown haired lass."

"I've always been so self-conscious about my hair," She says reaching up a hand to her hair n.ervously

"Ye shouldn't be, you've the loveliest hair," said Jamie,

"What? This mass of unruly brown curls?"

"I like the unruliness, speaks ta yer independence and passion. And as fer the brown... It's like the water in a burn, the way it ruffles down the rocks. Dark in the wavy spots with wee bits of auburn when the sun touches it..."

Catching both Jamie and herself off guard something within Claire urged her to kiss her new husband, and so she did, with all the passion he had just described.

And he kissed her back just as fiercely and the two tumbled down into bed together taking their time in becoming one, over and over again.


	18. Back to Leoch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted my last chapter and folded it into the wedding nite one and made some small changes following so it feels more seamless.

**Jamie**

It was a long ride back to Leoch for Jamie, he had quickly become addicted to his wife, any moment he couldn't be near her or be touching her was near torture for him.

Unfortunately, they had been gone for so long and had to ride through nights to make it up, at least with Claire with them now she was able to tend to Ned so his lungs wouldn't be slowing them down again.

It felt like years since he had last been inside the large stone walls of Leoch, now he felt he was returning a new man, he now was someone's husband.

Looking around he couldn't help but feel disappointed, he had always wished to take his bride back to Lallybroch, there had to be a way to get this price off his head so he could give Claire the new life she deserved, not saddled with a fugitive for a husband but someone she could stand tall and proud next to.

He swore he would find a way.

**Claire POV:**

I was a married woman once again, I was afraid belonging to someone once more would feel stifling but so far being tied to Jamie had been a completely different experience then I had with Frank.

Yes, we had our own dangers but we were facing them together, I felt as tho I didn't just belong to him but rather we belonged to each other, and for each other, we would fight to protect what was ours.

I didn't fear Jamie's moods or saying the wrong thing to him, being too slow or clumsy... if anything Jamie didn't look at me to find flaws or something to criticise but rather his gaze made me feel like I could do no wrong, his looks made me feel treasured and it was that feeling that gave me back my confidence.

Things weren't perfect for us by any means, we were often separated and seem to draw judgment and suspicion from all over, Dougal kept being wary of me and Gellis kept trying to worm her way closer, for what purpose I wasn't sure but I did not feel like genuine friendship and I was sure to keep my guard up with her. There was even Mrs. Fitz' granddaughter Laoghaire, who had been shooting daggers at me everytime our paths cross but for the life of me I had no idea what I had done to offend the girl.

I would have been fine to keep my head down and ignore these tiresome behaviors but it was an action of Laoghaire's that pushed me too far.

**Jamie POV:**

_Christ, what on earth was the lass thinking, exposing herself ta meh._

_I would have been quite happy ta never see a naked woman again aside from meh wife. Rage burned within me for Laogaire's disrespect of not only Claire but me as weel if she thought I would be of such low character to sin out of meh marriage._

_I wanted to throttle the brat but first I needed to find Claire, my Sorcha, I needed my light. Needed to hold her close and know nothing and no one could get between us._

_If I dinna let Black Jack's relative get the best of us, Laogaire stood no chance, I just needed Claire to reconfirm it, an perhaps we could reconfirm with each other a few time before supper was ta be called._

_I found her in her surgery, thankfully she was by herself._

_"Claire,"_

_She turned aroond at meh voice and smiled, meh God every one of her smiles felt like priceless gift ta meh. I cherished meh wife more then I could put inta words, I just hope she would remember that after telling her about Laogaire's attempts earlier today._

_She came ta meh and snaked her long gracefull arms aroond by neck bringing meh head down fer a kiss._

_Christ, my sassenach wife had the softest lips, she was a goddess I dinna deserve I only prayed fer her never to realize it. I couldna live without her, even breathing when she wasna near had become difficult fer meh._

_I took her hands in mine and kissed each knuckle only to turn them over and place another kiss upon each palm._

"Jamie? Is everything alright?"

"Aye, everything is perfect but I needta tell ya something."

"Alright,"

"Laogaire approached meh today,"

"Mrs's Fitz' granddaughter? Has she taken to starring daggers at you as well now?"

"No lass, she tried to tempt me to her, even exposed her bossom ta meh, but I need ya to know Claire I dinna touch her. I love you, you are meh wife and I want no other."

**Claire POV:**

I suppose I had solved one mystery, Laogaire's problem with me wasn't my Englishness or suspicions I was a spy, it was that I had Jamie and she didn't.

I trusted Jamie, I did, but Laogaire was young and young girls can be vicious, I knew I couldn't ignore her actions.

"I want no other either, but we must talk to Mrs. Fitz about this."

"Are yeh soore thats the right thing ta do?"

"Girls that young are vulnerable and I understand why you stepped in to protect her once but just as they need protection they can also be the most vicious of creatures, we must tell someone and with a witness so her behavior does not escalate."

"I trust ya on this sassenach, I dinna want to embarrass the lass but I canna have anyone disrespecting our union."

I stroked Jamie's cheek, I had not told him yet but I loved him. I loved him so much. To be honest, I wasn't sure why I kept it to myself still, perhaps there was a part of me that fears the moment I voiced it I would awaken to cruelly find this had all been a dream, that would destroy me. 

"Yes, you me Murtaugh and Mrs. Fitz... no one who would take pleasure in spreading gossip and seeing her reputation threatened but enough of us to let her know this is still serious and will not be tolerated."

We agreed after supper we would steal Mrs. Fitz away before she retired and have a talk with her and the girl.

 


	19. Ill Wish

**Claire POV:**

I had trouble sleeping last night, perhaps it was because today Jamie and I intended to confront Laoghaire, or maybe it was my guilt over keeping my feelings from Jamie, either way, I was dragging this morning.

What I wouldn't give for a proper cup of coffee.

Finally, I stumbled out of bed and looked over to see my husband on the floor rolling on his kilt. The sight made me smile, god I really did love him- _just tell him..._

"Jamie,"

"Aye sassenach?" He looked over at me but as he turns his head something had caught his attention. Reaching under our bed he pulls out a doll of some kind.

"What is that?"

His face has turned serious and his ears are glowing red, clueing me in on the nefariousness of this doll.

"This is an ill wish," he spits out,

"And what does that mean?"

He gets off the floor taking long strides to get to be as quickly as possible,

"It means someone wishes you harm, I believe you were right about the viciousness of young lasses."

He wanted to throw the offending object into the fire but I stopped him, explaining we might need it for evidence if Mrs. Fitz is reluctant to believe us.

"Fine but I willna wait till this afternoon, we will confront her now,"

I went to talk to Mrs. Fitz and Jamie went to find Murtaugh.

**3rd Person POV:**

Claire was able to quickly locate Mrs. Fitz in the kitchens and asked her to gather Laoghaire and meet her in her surgery as soon as possible.

She tried to tell Claire she had too much on but Claire held firm informing her it wasn't optional.

Laoghaire and Mrs. Fitz arrived to a serious looking Claire and a furious looking Jamie,

"What is this about?" Mrs. Fitz asked.

Murtaugh then entered behind them, "I believe it's about your lass throwing herself at a merried man."

"What? She wouldn't dare," Mrs. Fitz said turning to Laoghaire, "tell them!"

But Laoghaire looked down ashamed,

"My god lass, what have you done!"

"She exposed herself to my husband and tried to get him to leave me."

Laoghaire looks up furious as Claire's voice,

"You shut yer mouth you witch, you've trapped him! I am only trying to save him from you evilness!"

"My evilness?" Claire looks to Jamie, "Jamie care to show Laoghaire and Mrs. Fitz what was found under my bed this morning?"

Jamie produces the ill wish and Mrs. Fitz quickly crosses herself.

"She's lying she probably made it herself, the devil's mistress isn't fit to be yer wife!"

"Enough!" Jamie yells pounding on the table, "I am the one who found it and I pledge Claire dinna even know what it was, so I'd be careful on who you go callin a witch, when more fingers have a right to be pointing at you."

Mrs. Fitz gasped, "Please Jamie you cannae"

"I stepped in for her punishment once, but she has come after meh wife now, if it doesn't stop aye, I will."

Claire not wanting to see real harm come to Laoghaire steps forward to try and calm down everyone,

"Laoghaire, I know you believe you love Jamie and therefore he should belong to you but that isn't how things work."

"What do you know!"

"I know what your feeling isn't love,"

"Lying cow! Yes, it is I love him and I won't stop trying to save him from your grips!"

Claire sighs, "Love isn't about winning, or control. It's about wanting the best for the other person, it's patient and kind, and it's not wrapped up in this fury that seems to be consuming you. You need to stop, Laoghaire, it won't end well for anyone and in the end, you still won't have what you want."

"I hate you!"

"Fine, but know this I am a God fearing healer who is needed by those in Leoch and who has her husband at her defense, you work in the kitchens, have already been brought for punishment before himself, tried to tempt a man out of his marriage and apparently can make and distribute ill wishes, who will likely be the convicted witch between us?"

"It was Gellis what made it not I!"

Murtaugh steps forward, "Ah so yet another witness we can use against you should you try to make another move against the lady."

Laoghaire looked furious now but kept her mouth shut.

Mrs. Fitz finally processing enough took control, "I promise you, Laoghaire will no longer be a problem for any of you, I will take care of it."

"Thank you Mrs. Fitz."

With that Laoghaire was dragged from the room still spewing piss and vinegar in Claire direction. 

"Well, the pair of you certainly know how to kick off a morning," Murtaugh commented before leaving the surgery.

Suddenly Claire and Jamie were alone,

"What you said to Laoghaire, about love... is that from experience?"

"Yes,"

Jamie looked down wounded until Claire put her hands on his face and raised him to look at her,

"I love you Jamie, and I will never love another."

 


End file.
